http://rictusempraa.wordpress.com

Noose

2009-12-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

I'm guessing it runs in the genes, but Kejun and I are going food hunting around Singapore. There will be an entire list and it would be inexhaustible, I am guessing. Yes. It runs in teh family, of that I am certain, the fact that we are waxing lyrical about various food places now. HAHA.

Anyways! Dionne and my obsession over You're Beautiful and our crazy little conversation. My god Dionne was so crazy convincing I knocked my keyboard off laughing.

I swear I love Ikea food! And I got Tashmehaugh! I love how soft toys practically TELL me their name. It's like when I touch them I just immediately know what their name is. I mean, it isn't me naming them, really! They TELL me. get me a shrink will you.

Whatcha say

2009-12-18T00:37:00.002+08:00

So where have I been?

All around town. My life is basically reduced to a vicious cycle of teenagery cliches. YOU KNOW. I need some stimulation. To do something that is.. not what everyone does. EVERYONE watches TV pigs out watches movies goes dancing plays pool uses the comp rot out read write sleep shit.

But I.

NEED TO DO SOMETHING. Like. Stage a play. CELINE ONG. SIM XINYI. GLORIA ANG. Come back. Like nao. Or have you even left yet, Gloria? Idk, And IDC. Here. Nao. Play. Drama. Or die.

Right. So Ikea tomorrow with Shermz and Beni~ Meatballs!

SEE. EVERYONE HANGS OUT AT IKEA AND EAT MEATBALLS AND BROWSE FURNITURE. How about something like LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION BBY.

OH MY GODZILLA MAMA FATHER MOTHER OF THE STICK!!

2009-12-14T23:55:00.002+08:00

WHY. IS. IMEEM NOW PART OF MYSPACE.

TELL ME THIS IS PART OF A NIGHTMARE.

Oh. My. Hell.

Vagabond

2009-12-09T23:48:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna do a rape and fill up my music library with Glee, Inara George, (500)DOS.

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE I LIKE TRURNS OUT TO BE SOMEONE IN AVATAR!? First Dev Patel, and now Dante Basco as Prince Zuko wth!? Anyways.

Party In The Cathleen's shack yesterday was smachin. The food (or abundance of) was pure sex. Slept over (or rather, stayed awake and harrassed Gloria with Cathleen as she sleeps. Went to Vanessa's and had a surprise! party for Nat! AND WE WATCHED LEAD THE WAY! Or Take the Lead actually. Whatever! Was good!

I'm freaking bloated it's scary. And also, constipated. Migawsh I feel like I might explode.

SPONGEBOB QUOTES!

2009-12-07T23:40:00.002+08:00

http://twitter.com/HappySquared

Remember to draw a rainbow between your hands whenever you say "Imaginaaaaaaation."

When visiting friends, remember: You can use the front door just as easily as you can use the toilet bowl.

Inflatable pants you might as well skip—if you want to fly, all you need is friendship!

When writing an essay, as your ideas grow, your pencil shrinks!

It's not just blowing bubbles, it's making BUBBLE ART.

If someone you know appears in your friend's thought bubble, say, "Hi."

You know what they say: The only people who don't like a Krabby Patty have never tasted one.

Bullies are proof that society is riding down a violent road to nowhere, a road I like to call "Violence Road."

Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child, and must be treated as such.

If your eyebrows grow three inches and get all squiggly, it's a sure sign you're scared out of your wits.

Life's like a bucket of wood shavings. Unless those wood shavings are in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

A sponge can absorb a butt-kicker's blows like he's made out of some sort of... spongy material.

Spray a little deodorizer on a heap of trash and you've got yourself an antiques sale!

When chasing down your prized jellyfish, remember to let out a tongue-waggin' high-pitched holler!

It's important to learn the difference between bad words and "sentence enhancers."

A Bubble Buddy is superior to a Stick Buddy or a Rock Buddy—or even a Sink Buddy.

A sea star will never tell you that you have bad breath--they don't have noses. A sea star WILL tell you that you're ugly, however.

Remember: You can do things the hard way or the easy way or the semi-easy/ medium-hard way.

Hugging someone and yelling, "We stink!" is pretty much guaranteed to totally confuse him. Unless he stinks too.

When a giant anchor crashes into your house, you may think it's the sky having a baby, but really it's just a giant anchor.

Having pride in your work is nothing to be ashamed of -- its the only thing that makes it all worthwhile... besides jellyfishing.

Cor Blimey!

2009-12-06T20:43:00.003+08:00

Gave DDRS a nice wash! And used the lovelylovely Floral Fantasy softener (which gives me brainhighs everytime I sniff it) on him. Can't wait for him to dry out so I can smell him to sleep everynight. On the other hand, okay no, both hands, reek of bleach.

STEAMBOATZ!

Watched a little of Twilight just now but gave up, because it was just so damn stupid. The sountrack in the beginning was slightly promising, and then Bella came out and ruined everything. Her badacting gave me chillywillies. Then random screenplays with stereotypical Asian kids and a very nasty Jacob Black with bad hair day followed by wannabe Indieness. It was painful, but when Rpat started, ALL WAS GOOD.

I mean honestly! This is the first movie I've watched and mistook for a parody! Especially teh Biology class scene where he acted like Bella had BO. IT WAS TOO PRECIOUS. I love Rpat, and I'm not even being sarcastic. It's like he knows Edward's a douchy mangina, and is mocking him on purpose. I love you Rpat, appear on my underwear now. Speaking of which, is the Edward underwear scary or not. Sorry girls but Edward Cullen printed underwears, contrary to what you might believe, does not absorb blood any better than your regular Kotex, despite the whole Vampire sucking blood thing on. Just thought you might wanna know. Robert Pattinson!

Read on the news about this scary family in Singapore. The kid came down with H1N1 and the parents, afeard that they might catch it, actually MOVED OUT. They didn't even bother, or dare, to leave sustenance for the poor kid. So the girl had to cook for herself. She was freaking FIFTEEN, and deathly ILL. WHAT kind of parents, tell me? Let's see you get dumped somewhere when you get all old and troublesome. )-:

Going Back to the Corner

2009-12-06T14:37:00.003+08:00

Almost always, I fail to sustain private blogs. Because.

Okay firstly I'm extremely audience-oriented. Meaning if no one is around to appreciate my shit I give up because it just seems pretty pointless. This is however a direct conflict with the motive of setting up private blogs, of course. I'M SO STRANGE.

The OTHER reason would be how I just prefer directly confronting, getting over with, and forgetting shitzams that have upsetting effects on me. I mean, what's with all the dwelling and shit? Not wallowing in all your past hurts doesn't make you shallow, or in denial (we'll come to that later). It just makes you.. well, intelligent.

BECAUSE THERE IS NO POINT. And I don't see a point in doing pointless things unless they are pointless things that make me happy in which case it would not be entirely pointless as I AM benefitting although on the surface it appears to be useless GOD. I need to stop. digressing. right.

I know some are frightened how easily I shake things off, regardless of the magnitude. It's as if I am invulnerable to emotional attacks. Well.. yeah in a way. Being human, it does hurt, but I tend to escape from the after effects easily. Which is why I have little patience for people who just can't seem to get on with life. Probably cause I don't understand why they don't just.. idk, get over it? Though I understand I am the freak of nature here, so I try not to mind so much.

What I am trying to say is.. FRIENDS. I am FINE. I don't put on a strong front or whatever. Just accept the fact that I am extraordinarily blessed by God to be inhumane in the face of crisis. AND I have no idea what sparked of this very off tangent rant.

So what have I been doing as of late.

Baking at Vanessa's (and of course the crazy insane amount of Camwhoring).

Waking up in the afternoon, watching You're Beautiful till midnight.

Clubbing. Ok not really but.. I TOTALLY WOULD if I weren't so bloody lazy.

Chillz @ Shermz' tomorrow, followed by Christmas Party @ Cat's and then.. AND THEN. YES.

Yesterday night in a fit of insomnia I created male counterparts of the Drama Class.

Gerald (Gerry)
Xinyong (Xinyi)
Kim Chi (Sushi)
Weiqiang (WQ)
King Kong (Gorilla)
Raymond (Rei-En)
Sherman (Shermi)
Sherbert (Shereen)
Calveen (Cathleen)
Venson (Vanessa)
Harold (Heidi)
Larry (Lorraine)
Nicholas (Nicole)
Jordan (Cel Jordanne)
Beckham (Becky)

And next we're gonna pair them up with the female version. Some other time.

ZOMG YKNW THE PREVIOUS POST I HAD ABOUT THE DISTURBING SCAB PICKING DUDE ON THE BUS?

Yes, so my germaphobia has been on overdrive the past few days, engendering irrational paranoia in me whenever I'm in public (WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, my home is prolly alot germier. I guess I'm just phobic of alien germs.) The library is a torture, and I finished up my bottle of sanitizer just standing around. I couldn't even bring myself to touch the books properly AND MY LLAMA the chairs were like a breeding bed of microbes.

On my way to church, this fat man with pigmented skin and glistening globules of bodily excretion adorning his gelacious frame kept RUBBING HIS BLOODY FACE. Like, yknw, the palm rub up and down his entire face thing. The most horrifying part was how when skin made contact with skin, there was this TERRIFYING, RIBALD, NAUSEATING, HORRIFIC SOUND. The sound you here when you rub sandpaper on gravel.

In an instant, an invisible explosion of what I would call Dead Face Flakes was discharged into the air. No that is too mild a term. INVADED. ERUPTED. PERVADED. HE DID IT EVERY TWENTY SECONDS. Honest to goodness! I counted between rubs. And whenever he did it I would involuntarily stifle my inhalation, BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SUCK IN HIS FLAKES. It was disconcerting, I swear, public transport can make me feel so disturbed and raped.

PIG-RABBIT !

2009-12-04T16:55:00.004+08:00

I WANT THIS!

I don't usually splurge on things (except food), and this Pig Rabbit replica from You're Beautiful is a whoppingmelon SEVENTY BUCKS in Korea. There should be cheaper alternatives but the postage fee itself would be scarily scary.

STILL, COME AWN. It's a PIG RABBIT, how adorable is that!

And perhaps the most attractive feature of all... It's DIYed by Hwang Tae Kyung! Possibly the sexiest male alive!

Really. I'm gna get this.

Boys lemme see you hit that

2009-12-01T15:31:00.002+08:00

Tonight I resolve to sleep by 10.30 pm. Furrealzx. Life can be dreary. Ah no matter. I'll rest at home today to recharge for a the next few days out. NOW what do I do.

FATZ.

Oh God Oh Man!

2009-12-01T00:09:00.001+08:00

Battle of bodily conditions! Sleepy but damnmother hungry. So am waiting for dad to get home and cook me instantnoods. BUT I'M SLEEPY DAMMIT. BUT I'M HUNGRY AS HELL. HUNGRIER THAN I AM SLEEPY. In fact, I CAN EAT MY SLEEP THIS VERY MOMENT. Oh, and yes. I get incoherent when sleepy and insane when hungry. The combination is evident from above. OHHELL!

I Want Your Psycho

2009-11-30T23:07:00.009+08:00

Slacking at Shermi's, wasting the lazy days away. What an awesome life, no? After a heavy dinner, Shereen Rei-En Sherms and I went to quack around the playground. Old school catching, then Hide N Seek. It was the most fun I've had since after Os, really. Well, besides Taupoking and crazyass Pillowfights, of course.

Which leads me to thinking, why is it that despite being near seventeen, most of us derive the purest joy out of the simplest of activites. I mean, YES Wii is awesome, and yeah dressing up can be pretty happy. But SPOUNTANEOUS, RANDOM, CHILDREN GAMES STILL PWN ALL. Idk if it applies for everyone. Maybe most teenagers prefer to be lounging in their bikinis watching gossip girl, but really. Us people just love to play. And frisk about.

AND YES. I was a pretty fail catcher. But an excellent Hider. Would anyone please notice how for every Hide and Seek game I WAS LAST TO BE FOUND? Hmm? But CATCHING was my pitfall. UNTIL I conspired with the Ben lookalike of course. I swear that kid is damn cute and nice, like how ben would have been before he sold his soul to eternal bitchiness.

I was all, Help me can! You ask that jiejie questions then I run over and catch her ok! And he was like, No no! I teach you! You run this way, and I go over there to corner her! And we were like OK ON! THAT WAS HOW I CAUGHT SHEREEN! Kids are awesome. Sometimes I wish I were pregs, but of course without the sexing bits and the whole ZOMG YOU ARE A TEEN MOM bit. MARRIAGE PLEASE OCCUR NOW, so I can produce a child and then file for a divorce.

My maternal instincts at this very moment terrify me. Well, not as much as how Shermi's paedophilic tendencies do. I mean, she was like GROPING this wee toddler and totally kidnapping him by snatching him up and sliding down the slide with him. FREAKY MUCH. Poor scarred baby.

HUNGRY. OMNOMNOM.

PS: Am I the only one who would edit my posts after spotting a grammatical error. BECAUSE IF I AM, EVERYONE SHOULD START DOING SO.
PS: OR, the only one who would bother to edit YET AGAIN if she forgot to italize stuff?

Rejuvenation, (Also, I hate thinking up Titles)

2009-11-30T12:45:00.004+08:00

So I was reading through my archives when it struck me how frequent and devoted a post-er I used to be.

Oh wait, Hi-5 on now. GOSH I can't tell you how much I dislike the new cast. They are like.. alien imposters. I hate everything New Gen, which is a clear indication that I'm Too Old. Also, why do they not dispose of Jub Jub, possibly the most annoying Unidentifiable Purple Octopus Alien thing EVER. I mean, what IS his shit about stealing stuff all the time. I hate how no one notices his kleptomanic and homosexual undertones.

I love how my digressions take on an alien lifeform of it's on and morph into little paragraphs of epiphanic rants. I also love how I'm using alien as an adjective to describe just about everything.

SO. Honestly I've been totally dragged off my initial intention for posting, but I shall try a reversion. RIGHT so what I'm tryna say is that ZOMG I AM SCARED OUT OF MY WITS. Am I actually GROWING. OUT. OF. BLOGGING? I mean.. that's just scary! I've been on it since 06. Which is practically my entire Sexondary School life!

Does this mean that on entering JC/Poly/ITE, my entire world of Blogginginess will collapse like 911 meet Saddam Hussein? (Or was it Osama, I can never tell the two apart. Don't try to act elitist ok I bet half the world has the inability to differentiate the two. Turban, Beards and Terrorism, GOT DIFF MEH. OH WAIT. They are brothers right? Which one is the one who died? ARGH. Mas Selamat.)

I cannot allow for that even to take place, therefore This Post shall mark the milestone for an influx of major postage once again. Pinky promise. OH, OH FINE. It's really just an excuse for me to actually HAVE SOME FORM OF ACTIVITY in this very, very tedious and aimless Holiday I am having right now. I mean, I'm supposed to have pasta at Shermi's now, but instead I'm committed to cleaning out my closet.

Which I will. Now. Nownownow.

I miss my ability to actually Stick To The Topic.

It's Been Awhile, I Know.

2009-11-27T22:58:00.002+08:00

What a week it has been.

One moment I'm thrown into the hectic rush of crowds, Prom, Camp, Graduation, Sports Day (which, of course I missed entirely, having only awaken after it was over), and then wham-bam, everyone's gone off somewhere in Albania or Nepal or whatnot and here I am at home, one part of me screaming for release from boredom, the other weeping with relief that I can truly abandom the lifestyle of a vampire and actually acquire some form of bodily rest.

Which I have not been getting since the end of O Levels. Ironic, I know.

As postworthy as the activities were, I've kinda lost that recounting urge, so I'll just leave it as that. Whatever has happened left me feeling:

1) Grateful. For.. everything.

2) SAPPYWEEPYCLINGY. It doesn't hit you like some manic tsunami. It seeps in like ratpoison to your sanity. The fact that it's over and we're not gonna be (ever) wandering around barefoot, dancing around trees in the SN compound, eating cheese toast. It sends achy achy lightnight bolts up my gut.

3) Drained. IneedsleepIneedsleepIneedsleep though that has almost been all I'm doing the past few days. Ok not really, but HEY, I haven't been home for what, a week before Prom, wandering around like some frightful vampire nomad.

4) Purposeless. Because it's like giving birth. For nine months you harbour a life in you, the only goal you have it to protect and deliver your baby. So when it's out, what do you do? Same diff.

5) Which leads us to.. HOLINESS. Yes, Encounter did wonders and I know have a purpose in life! Which is to annoy the hell outta Xinyi with my new found God Lovingness! Kidding. But yes, true, about the whole God Loving bit.

Friends. We need to rally together and be humane again! Let's do MENSA. Group study sessions again.

I Have Not Been Posting, I Know.

2009-11-23T22:07:00.002+08:00

Because. I have not been home for days and days and days and it is pretty amazing to realise that Os had only ended a little more than a week ago.

1) MANIC PROM SHOPPING

2) AN AMAZING CHURCH CAMP/ENCOUNTER

3) PROM NIGHT

4) POST PROM

Some other day, cause honestly, hungover (from Coke) and massive zonkyoutness.

Lippy.

2009-11-16T00:02:00.002+08:00

The starting of my lipogram, brainchild at 11pm on a non O level day. MLIG.

____

On occasion, you would find that most of our kind, simply, wants to gain an air of individuality. A part of this population attains this without much difficulty, although many labour for it.

Such is our social pyramid; struggling souls to act as foundation and a handful known as idiosyncratic particulars as a summit.

In this way, Katy accords with ‘struggling souls’. Having about nothing to boast of, and a copiously banal imagination to boot, Katy was an occupant of what is known as ‘foundation’. And though having not in any way brought up any indisposition, Katy had constant visions and plans for a comparably illustrious status.

Thus took off a pursuit to crown Katy as a luminary.

____

Comments. Does it work or does it sound plain dodgy. And for those of you who has of yet realised what a lipogram is, HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING STRAAANGE SO FAR? Lemme know me lovies. GOODNIGHT AND GOOD RIDDANCE!

Skills I Have Acquired Due to Unproductive Activities & How They Might Come In Useful During a Life/Death Situation.

2009-11-15T20:21:00.005+08:00

1) Showering thoroughly within the span of a commercial break.

Done so in order to: catch my soaps (holy mangina, a pun!) without missing a line, and also to dispel six minutes of boredom most experience during breaks.

Might come in handy when: a fire/alien/lizard crisis occurs and um, you wanna smell your best during evacuation because you never know when you meet your future spouse?

2) Picking or replacing anything within a two meter radius simply by mauevering your leg. Seriously.

Done so in order to: minimize movement. I enjoy paralysm when mooching off in bed, so picking things up between your toes as opposed to your fingers creates, by far, larger convenience due to length to length ratio. I rock you lose.

Might come in handy when: one day I lose my arms to a) a food fight b) a brawl between Cathleen and Vanessa in teh canteen (REMEMBER?) c) my fangirl stampede and would totally need to do stuff like button blouses and eat candy using my feet.

3) Do a mean imitation of having diarrhea/deadly pneumonia/an assorted of sicknesses. Like I mean, HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER PRO.

Done so in order to: what else, skip PhysEd, or school if I really want to.

Might come in handy when:EVER. And I MEAN whenever. Excellent for getting out of well.. anything. Distant relative's funeral, frenemies' wedding, work, I bet I can even do some spazzy bipolar shizz if I happen to murder someone. WOOHOOMLIGBBQ.

So far. Mmrrngh I've lost my stamina!

2009-10-31T23:57:00.003+08:00

A plethora of quotes by Social Studies Muggers @ 12 midnight.

WQ: PAP will be my new Super Junior. I will study the SS TB like it's a SuJu bible.
Celine: GOOD. Now go find an indian/malay and have some babies.

WQ:
LEE KWAN YEW! PAP! TAKE MY SOUL! YOU ARE MY ONLY! (IMPALES SELF WITH.. CANNOT SAMURAI SWORD, SO.. SATAY STICK!)

I SELL MY SOUL TO PAP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO'S GOTTEN AN A1 FOR SS.

How to write on Venice: 'Venice failed due to its complacency WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO SINGAPORE BECAUSE WE ARE SO KICKASS AND ALERT! Another factor would be it's constant change in diplomatic position WHICH IS SO STUPID SINGAPORE IS DAMN SMART AND SUCKS UP TO ONLY THE BEST.' <>

As you guys know, SS textbook is one and the same in Singapore, therefore logically being so local based, they are marked by local teachers. As of tonight I have discovered the surewin way of A1ing your SS. Turn to the page where Mr Lim sucks up to PAP (Oh wait! That's EVERY page, hm) and there's a fineprint right there for those who BOTHER to read the propaganda. It reads, 'Draw a Singapore flag and sign under the statement I Sell My Soul to PAP on your exam script and get a straight A.' I mean I LOVE YOU LKY but you need to stop trying so hard. )X HAPPY STUDYING EVERYONE. Majula Singapura and don't forget the year Merlions went extinct.

I bet I'll pass by just writing down the lyrics of Majulah Singapura. Provided I get Besaru and Bersatu right.

Celine:
This morning while studying SS I sang the national anthem, where I belong and Stand Up for Singapore without knowing it. I couldn't even stop after Xin told me that I was being taken over by LKY the 99 year old vampire immortal. I tell you, the material of the SS text book is saturated with PAP pheromones that fill you with patriotic love which will cause your body to function according to the govt's will. SUBMIT!

Day 2.

2009-10-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

Shereen: The Legend of the Seeker guy is super hot!

Wq: Isn't he black?

Everyone: ...whaaat?

Wq: Oh wait. That's I Am Legend.
___

Benita: They're trying to make it like Eragon plus Lord of the Rings!!

Celine: But isn't Aragon IN Lord of the Rings?

Alright.

2009-10-25T20:42:00.002+08:00

Although it makes me queasy to the core, I have accepted the fact that yes. I can no longer study without developing a throbbing migraine coupled with the urge to kill everything around me, including myself.

Therefore, since it is only, what, one hour before I go to bed and wake up to The O Levels, I have decided to just.. slack. Therefore past few hours was spent cropping Super Junior pictures as you see on your right. Mmhmm.

I mean, WHAT CAN I DO, RIGHT? Not much, in such a limited amount of time. The wisest thing to do is to REST. And RELAX. And like. Take deep breaths and meditate or something. Go all Zen, you know.

On the other hand, managed to trick Shereen into downing ice cold Soya Sauce. It was Epic of the Epic. Previously tried it on Gloria, Celine, Benita. However Xinyi's failure at lying made it a total flop. Celine was all, It's not Coke! Once we stepped near her. And Gloria took a condescending sniff before claiming likewise.

We learnt to be smarter, though. Or rather, we just found our victim's Archilles' Heel. So I stood around pseudosipping the 'Ice Cocoa' while exclaiming, OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! And Celine mimed drank and waxed lyrical about all it's goodness. So to others it might seem pretty fake.

But Shereen, who waslike, what, three metres away? Pounced right in and went OMG GIMME GIMME I WANT! So handing it over, we ran away to dispel of our laughter. It Was Epicsome. You could practically hear the GULPING, my god. Shreen's expression after that was a total Kodak moment, but everyone was laughing too hard to capture it.

In our memory, Shereen, though. In our memory. (-:

( And for the next half hour she was yelling AND I TRUST YOU TWO THE MOST!! while her Soya breath dissipated around the house. Lolz. )

Raffish!

2009-10-25T18:16:00.002+08:00

What the hell?

I hate this blog template shit. WHY IS EVERYTHING IN HTML, why can't they spell things in English instead of algorithms for us non-computer linguists? Annoying.

Yeah anyway, O LEVELS STARTS TOMORROW. Freaking tomorrow! K technically it has started since last Wednesday (Drama Paper, followed by XIAO LONG BAOS), but yget what I mean. I'm currently in a state of frenzied panic that I know is deep in there somewhere, concealed by heavy resignation.

Which is the only and sole reason why I've been online the past few hours, on pretence that I'm searching for the letter writing format (Though please let me know, if any of you have it. The correct version.)

Aaaand, yes. What's been up the past few weeks. Or was it months since I've been around? Months. Yes. Mugging, I mean LIVE WITH IT. I know you want to hear some exciting story about me having a mental breakdown and lipsyncing to Jason Mraz in the middle of Plaza Singapura wearing a hobo shirt or something but NO.

All I've been doing is MUGGING. And WATCHING TV. Lots of that in fact. My only refuge seems to be the goodol'tello. Mugging. In school, at home, mostly at Celine's Aunt's House, officially known as the Mugger's Clubhouse. Where a bunch of us spend hours on ends distracting each other.

SOZ. Goodbye. And fare thee well. Not a moment has passed without my being frickin out about O Levels. Like how I can be reading a Foxtrot comic strip where Paige was doing a differentiation sum and I'll be overwhelmed with a compulsion to solve it.

And how many of you wake up while solving simultaneous equations in your head more than three times a week?

(Raises hand.)

2009-10-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

YES, PEOPLE. I am dead. But I will be back.

Meanwhile. Found this:

BEFORE:

I never quite understood the whole allure of Super Junior / DBSK.

And BOY, is the whole SuJu thing BIG or what!? It kind of scares me when the most clear-headed, cynical of friends get caught up with SuJu, I mean, I THOUGHT they had class! It usually goes like this, someone would hate / despise / be repulsed by SuJu or DBSK, and then they would proceed to challenge it's lousiness by attempting to watch their vids.

And FREAKISHLY, like some creepo indoctrination, with all those subliminal messages hidden behind their dance moves and body jerks or long brown tresses or WHATEVER, BAM, people get hooked and start to love SuJu. Or DBSK, I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T EVEN TELL THEM APART. They are just one huge demonic coorporation to me.

What!? They all either look like horses or transvestites! Personally DBSK is more humanlike, but NOT ANY LESS ALIEN THAN SUPER JUNIOR. All of them are freaky shits. How can music of THAT quality and looks like THAT possibly hold SUCH attracting powers.

Deciding that it's do or die, I've decided to venture to the dark side and like, you know, ACTUALLY WATCH THEIR VIDEOS. Super Junior is annoying, and I was right about the whole transvestite / big hair thing. They all look like the emerged from a Gatsby advert. Okay so MAYBE DBSK is kind of good.

BUT NEVER GOOD ENOUGH TO BE OBSESSED WITH LIKE SO MANY ARE WITH EM.

Tell me, please, DBSKSUJU lovers, WHY!? WHYYYYY!?

NOW I KNOW WHY. NOW I DO. QINGTAN HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE UNDERSTOOD THE SIMPLE LOGIC THAT

SUPER
JUNIOR
IS
SINGLEHANDEDLY
-THE-
MOST EPIC CREATION, like, EVER?

You know what, I'm gna rewatch Sorry Sorry five times over now, so kthnxbai.

2009-09-05T18:39:00.000+08:00

Studying @ Shermi's = epic calls to Tinklefriend.

SO. Singapore Idol. Judges PISS ME OFF SO BADLY. One word: Fail.

And really badly at that. Won't even care to elaborate. They just lack constructive criticism and wit, having to resort to Really Really Bad and Uncalled For Insults. Which are just.. painful, cliched and reeks of Trying Too Hard.

Xinyi and I were teasing Celine, when..

Shermi: Huh what did they say?

Celine: Don't care about them they're just trying to be stupid.

At this point, having been attuned to sargasm, I immediately jumped in,

WQ: What do you mean 'trying'~

Celine: You do know you just insulted yourself, right?

WQ: ..oh yeah.

2009-08-28T21:38:00.001+08:00

Why do they not show this anymore!

2009-08-20T22:19:00.001+08:00

The posting page is fugly, reason enough not to update.

Buaibuai me lovies.

2009-08-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

The posting page is fugly, reason enough not to update.

Buaibuai me lovies.

Will make this short not supposed to be online but this is too epic not to

2009-08-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

Everyone, read: Worm Story by Morris Gleitzman.

It is, essentially, the most genius book, like EVER.

Everyone expects us teens to only wna read about sex booze and cheerleaders (which is not true, we just wanna do em), therefore I've completely relinquished on books targetted at teens. Instead I'll read adult porn, or occasionally my sister's primary school reading lost shits. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS:

Summary: A fat worm, Wilton, ostracised by the other microbes. (And damn, the other microbes are mighty fierce. Calls him a jiffing fatso and an entire list of punnalicious biological fat insults) The microbes believe they live in a world governed by Sludge Gods, and recently these Gods have been giving them trouble. Worm does not know he's a worm and has always wondered who his parents were. Worm goes out in search of friends, meets a microbe named Algy. Algy tells him he is different because he's a worm. Wilton then suddenly catches sight of another worm, and there was this huge emotional scene until he found out it was actually a noodle. Which was bloody LOL. K then Algy and Wilton decided to save the World by finding out why there's been Sludge storms recently.

Later on in the story, Wilton finds out Algy's a parasite living off the food he eats and also sometimes nibbles on his intestines. Again, great friendship emotionally mushy scene (just.. with a twist)(SO KEWT Algy enters and exit his rear ends), and they resolve it and run along saving the world. The rest of the story is amazing, and they meet some pretty damn kewtsome characters on the way. Best: when they described the buttocks and underwear in the POV of microbes.

Well yeah in the end (after having found the source of sludge storms (their host body Janet was undergoing stress from bullies, they formed a coalition with some microbes on a dog and the dog made friends with janet making her (-: and unstressed)). And Wilton rejected the offer to live with the worms on the Dog for Algy! WAS AMAZINGLY SCHWEET PL0X! K then what happened was that on the way back they found out that the fungus spores attacking the body before whom they escaped from had actually crept into Wilton's body and are eating him alive.

So anyways, Algy went to find brain cells and other microbes to help, and they did, BLOODY HELL THE POTRAYAL OF THE BRAIN CELL WAS AWESOME SHIT. And Algy died during the battle inside. The braincell then confesses they only saved a loser to him to convey the message to the stomach about the situation of the body, and that she herself couldn't do it because braincells can't survive acid like the worm can.

So Wilton went down and told the microbes about the Truth about their World, and was mocked until he came up with this ingenious plan to prove himself, which was to describe the appearance of the next Sludge storm, since he knew what Janet would eat next. So yeah, they hailed him O Wise Worm God, and he was commended and all but really upset cause he missed Algy and GUESS WHAT.

ALGY IS A FREAKING CELL ORGANISM. So he underwent Mitosis before leaving for the trip and there's actually a horde of Algys waiting there for Wilton! IT WAS SO ADORABLE AND AW-ISH!!

KTHXBAI.

2009-08-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
PIKACHU, I. CHOOSE. YOU.

Ben. says:
eugh
pikachu is like the most fug pokemon ever

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
DAMN EW!
Okay then I choose vulva.
Wait HAHAHAH
VULPIX, bloody hell. I am polluted.

2009-08-15T20:28:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQRYAagXZFQ

I promise you, this is the best thing, ever.

2009-08-15T11:16:00.001+08:00

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA! But your spelling is so good to blame stuff on. Like, WQ WHY DID YOU EAT MY SANDWHICH. OMG XINYI'S SPELLING MADE ME DO IT!

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
or maybe its like WQ EHY DID YOU EAT MY SANDWHICH? OMG BECAUSE I AM A HUNGRY VACCUMM CLEANER ALIEN HYBRID THING DISGUISED AS AN AH LIAN WHO BLAMES HER HUNGER ON INNOCENT CHILDREN LIKE XINYI

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
Sigh I forgive you for that outburst. I know it's not really you, but the spelling! The spelling made you do it.

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
BUT YOUR SPELLING IS LIKE

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
LEGENDARY!

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
It is the Epic of the Epic!

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
That is why on Grad night they will give you an award for the Most Spelling Errors award.

GEE THANKS.
posted by XINYI at 6:45 AM 0 Comments

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
Oprah is a fat indian okay!

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
And they give me all kinds of condescending looks!

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
OMFG SHE'S AFRICAN AMERICAN!

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
THAT IS LIKE NAWT INDIAN

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
Ya african american, aboriginal, indian, tamil tigers, all the same denomination.

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
O.O

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
OEI I am not discriminating ok! I am listening to Rihanna now!

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
She is also indian.

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
SHE IS AS INDIAN AS AMANDA IS INDIAN

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
HAHAHA, which means, VERY. AND THAT WAS SHO LOL! I AM GNA TELL AMANDA!!

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
AMANDA IS NOT INDIAn

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
SHE LOOKS INDIAN/DUBIOUSLY UNCHINESE

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
BUT OMFG SHE IS IN EC CLASS

AND ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWESOME says:
that makes her so much more chinese than me

Aaja Jariwale Nile Aasman Ke Tale says:
HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!

Coppertone

2009-08-07T22:15:00.000+08:00

I've been MIAing for so long, even I think I might be dead.

2009-08-01T12:15:00.001+08:00

Watch: The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas

2009-07-29T13:26:00.000+08:00

ACJC DSA IN ABOUT 3 half hours, plz God.

I Talk Lyk Dis
Chinedum Nwokonkor
Cos I talk lyk dis
I’m a boi from da street
Gat in ma back pocket
my life’s incomplete...

Child support income,
parents separated,

I talk lyk dis...
so i’m not educated...

Cos I talk lyk dis
I’m a criminal...
Deceptive, corrupted
individual...

Only i can see
the backs of my generation
on the wall of society,
Anxiety...
Completes ma emotion entirely

Oh my dayz!
You’re tryna give me advice?

“Don’t smoke?
Don’t drink an’ drive?
Hit me at 30
and i’ll stay alive?”

U know what?
All i’m sayin is

Let your heart be your heart,
Let your mind be your mind,
An’ let your soul be your soul

But keep it in control!

Geez, u think its
Boy against brotha,
Girl against motha,
Friend against otha,
BANG BANG!
You’re dead!
‘Nuf said...
And all cos i talk lyk dis....

This guy won FOYLE with the poem above. Goes to show that you don't have to actually write well to be one of the winners. You just have to be black, Chinky, handicapped, or generally underprivileged, and because society tries so hard to be politically correct, you are a sure-in. This has therefore raised my percentage chances of actually winning!

Afterall, I am a chinky. Watch this.

AZN RULZ
by Weiqing Tan

Harlow chu, I spik like chinky,
cuz Chinky I am.
Hab da yallow skin, eyes like slits,
mai chest none to spik of.

Dat right, I eat rice I am yallow.
Calucator my onlee friend,
Pokemon and Dim Sum,
mother beat me if not get A1.

And so forth..

And I will win cuz I'm Asian.

OREOS!

2009-07-16T19:46:00.002+08:00

Okay, so YES. NO TEST TOMORROW AND IF THAT IS NOT EFFING AMAZING I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!

Secondary One we used to grudge about how we have a test a week. That was KILL okay! Compared to our semester exams in primary school. But anyhoo anyhow we've got to a stage where TESTS! EVERYDAY! And I MEAN testS, like, History essays after Literature essays and Biology after Math papers. THAT kind. I know.

But yes, so because I. Have. No. Test. Tomorrow, I feel like I'm on VACATION~ and will later reward myself for not ponning school for the entire week with some homemade Oreos Ice Cream. Cause my Angel gave me an entire box of Oreos! Which my sister consumed without inhibitions. HOW DARE SHE CONSTANTLY CHOMP UP MY FAVE FOODS I WILL KILL I TELL YOU~

2009-07-14T22:11:00.001+08:00

can't even understand what i am saying to myself !?,

will be back when more lucid.

Also Known As, Again,

2009-07-14T21:36:00.004+08:00

Why Am I Alive / I Have No Life / I Should be Studying for Math / I Know You Have Heard This Shit for the Past Three Months But Care I Not / Am Feeling Extremely Grudging and Pissed off with the world / Can This End Right Here and Now!?

Effing shagged. Yesyesyes, nonono.

Yah, it has been test after test after test and I'm bloody sick of it. Math test tomorrow, I know, but I have done the impossible and forced myself up at an ungodly 3am to finish Biology yesterday night.. morning? Whatever. That I have now completely lost the ability to even count from 12 to 16. No, really.

I have never been this sleepy and zombified in my entire 16 years of existence. I had a regular bedtime of 10pm, where I would automatically fall into slumber when the minute hand strikes 10, (10!? omg, 12. I can practically feel my brain cells depleting ) but nowadays, I have to sustain till, IDK, 1am!? THAT IS MOTHERDUCKING LATE! LATE! IT IS MORNING. IT IS EQUIVALENT TO NOT HAVING SLEPT TONIGHT. CAUSE I SLEPT IN THE MORNING. You know?

Now I can lie in bed with my completely screwed up biological clock chanting, Go to sleep, Go to sleep in my head for approximately half an hour before I semi doze off. IT IS SHO BAD. And then I wake up totally zonked and am perpetually tired. ALL THE TIME. 6am all the way to when I go off to bed. And if that isn't enough, me being tired =/= slumping down on the desk taking power naps.

It includes me periodically spouting absolute nonsense having no idea what the hell I am saying and not NOTICING what I have said until I have been hit by Jingyi multiple times. I have lost count of the amount of incoherency I have endowed upon the people around me, something along the lines of oh, my god, I think I need a dinosaur, I mean - manicure, or the ovule entering the stomata being a plant equivalent of oral sex. And I think somewhere along the way, about furry apples, lazy butt stories, and allergies to underwear. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Oh wait, I wasn't.

But sometimes I think I should bury a hole somewhere far, far away and hibernate for a long, long time.

Also, extrememly constipated.

It's funny what we'd rather..

2009-07-14T19:42:00.004+08:00

I suck in the air around everyone in school who's got the starting of flu like symptoms, drink from water coolers, and frequent public transport so WHY am I not down with H1N1 yet!?

CONTINUOUS. TESTS. ARE. KILL.

I thermomitize like I'm smoking a cig.

Gobbity God God.

2009-07-12T00:46:00.003+08:00

This is by request of Lee Kejun.

She says, BLOG! And because I am her niece, I do as I am told. Seriously, WHO encourages their niece to engage in One Night Stands? Okay yeah, her apparently. I am only sixteen but I am experiencing the degenerating effects of my body, aka, OESTEOPOROSIS. Damn my aching hip.

>-;

2009-07-11T23:16:00.002+08:00

And on Wednesday was the last time we would ever film an O Level piece.

Last. Devised. Work.

It feels so STRANGE. I mean, since Secondary One it has been assessment after assessment, NON STOP. It eats up our time like a freaking garbage truck, but we've gotten used to it over time. It'll feel empty. To not have some script stashed with me all the time. To not chiong monologues last minute or sit around in the sun with your Drama Group thinking up ideas then scraping them. Or just messing around with your team. It's been four years. Of memorising lines in the bus, rehearsing backstage in the Drama Studio, rolling around on the MPR2 floor, spending afternoons devising. Gosh, I will cry, I swear, if I go on. It's just that, Drama has been such a great part of my school life.

And now it's over. No more practicals. I thought I would be all, WHEW~ relief! But, yeah. I'm just suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms, snivelling in the corner like some crack addict. It hit me full force on Friday, and the thought that I might never perform a piece again was so overwhelming I made up a little monologue right there and then. I guess I'm not ready to let go yet. :-(

Play That Music!

2009-07-11T21:25:00.004+08:00

Soz.

I was all alone at home just now, and I've grown out of my I WANT MY PRIVACY stage, so I was feeling all lonely and discomfitted. So I decided to shower, but the air felt so stale I just had to bring my phone in to.. -play some music!

ANDTHENHOR. I spent an hour in there lip syncing to Gwen Stefani infront of the mirror. Besides being awesomely ashamed of myself I always have a massive facial muscle sore now. WHAI AM I SO EMBARRASSING WHY.

But it was fun. :-D

Eh, 'CHER! 'CHER!

2009-07-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

I think Math Teachers are like.. really cute! The way they phrase Math makes it seem like, The Force or something. You know.. it's so adorable how they describe it in such serious tones! Today was really starving during tuition cause I didn't eat before I went, so I was slightly zonked out and distracted, and my mind started to play tricks on me. Like how I kept reading sinx as sushi and my stomach growled really loud when we had to go through Pi.

Tutor: And now, I will show you the ways...

And in my mind "...of a Jedi..." kept ringing out but I had to surpress it.

Tutor: ...of drawing a sine curve.

And then Mrs Tan! I have no idea why but I found it really, really amusing when she said:

Zero is a very, very dangerous number.

IDK, okay! It's just so quotable and cute in a geeky math way! Heh!

And then I got annoyed when the other guy having tuition kept going on and on in his horrigible grammar. "EH 'CHER! 'CHER! Remember that time you tell me say this one take out must one. Then ah, uh, this one, ah, I ask you how come now can like take out anyhow one ah? Eh, 'CHER, 'CHER!" ZOMGZX O: Kill me, pl0x.

WQ: Just now I walked past this lady with huge boobies and I couldn't help staring at them. But then I saw a hot guy after that and couldn't stop staring as well. So does that make me gay, straight, bi, sexually confused, or just someone who stares way too much?

Celine: It makes you a normal teen. Albeit a freaky one.

Box

2009-07-10T20:32:00.001+08:00

I had always lived in a box. Don’t remember a time I didn’t. Always have, for as long as I knew. It felt comfortable, made me feel safe. Sometimes I realise I couldn’t breathe or stretch but most of all I felt like I belonged there. I didn’t imagine a time where I didn’t live in a box. But one day it happened. Maybe it was me, maybe just the box, I don’t know, and it did not matter anyway. Whatever it was, the seams of the box fell apart. Yes, just like that. First the seams tore, and before I could do anything, it simply, simply, fell apart. I didn’t believe there to be anything beyond the box. Even if there was, I knew it was something I didn’t want. Unsafe, uncomfortable. So the day my box fell apart, I could not see past the ruins around me. I clutched on tight to the edges and prayed that if I could hold it together long enough, it would lodge itself back together (like it had before). But this time, the box had fallen apart and there was nothing I could do. It, firstly, felt different. Incomplete. As after all, it had always been Me in the Box. Just – me, tasted strange on my tongue. Then I discovered I could stretch my legs. And my arms. At first there was pain. A sore you feel when you use a part of you for the first time (or the first time in a long long time). I liked the feeling, strangely. Then there was the air. It smelt so different, felt so different down my throat. It was foreign, slightly uncomfortable, slightly exhilarating. It confused me. And because it was my first time breathing I drank in the air, sharp painful bursts in my lungs. It was cathartic. For awhile I had forgotten about my box. The box. But I had lived in there for such a long, long time. So later in the day when everything new had ceased to be new, I went back and peered at the box. The relics of the box that fell apart. It looked very different from the outside, not like anything it had seemed when I lived in there. Sometimes I imagined myself to be back in the box. It made me sad, because I missed the feeling, so I quickly stopped remembering. Later on, I felt sad again, but because I had stayed in the box for such a long, long time. I wanted to know why I had, but I could no longer remember why, ever since I stepped out, I had forgotten why I had lived there in the first place. I thought, maybe, while I was in there, a sparrow had passed by. Maybe, I could have had held it in my hands if I had been outside the box to meet it. Then I thought, maybe I would have seen a rainbow. I remember a rainbow from before I lived in a box, but then again I don’t quite remember the times I had before I lived in a box. It started to rain. I cried and wished I could be back where I was sheltered. Then night seeped in and it became cold. I did not want to be in the box anymore, but it doesn’t seem as if I could live outside the box. I laid down on the grass and cried harder. And then, through my tears, I saw stars dotting the night sky. I haven’t seen those before, back in the box, or before I lived in a box. I thought maybe, maybe I could learn to live.

Jingyi on her vehemence towards angmohs

2009-07-07T23:12:00.002+08:00

, for some reason. XD

Jingyi: But angmohs are supposed to be better looking then us! Those angmohs that are born uglier than us might as well just go and die.
___________________________________________

Jingyi: When I am the boss of the world I would send all angmohs to Africa then take the african kids out to educate them!~
___________________________________________

WQ: ..so there were these bunch of bitchy angmohs -

Jingyi: But all angmohs are bitchy!
___________________________________________

WQ: How does it feel like to always have people say you look like something you hate?

Jingyi: Heeeeey!~ -GETS VIOLENT-

The Xinyi Thing

2009-07-05T21:31:00.006+08:00

Koped this from Xinyi. I figured if I just put my playlist on shuffle this thing will end by the end of the hour cause I AM SO MAINSTREAM. So I have decided to squeeze out the 20 most obscure I can get (which is still, pretty mainstream). I wanna determine just how friggin' mainstream I am, that even my most obscure = big time recognizable!

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line (or two) from the first 20 songs that plays.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artiste and track correctly. (If the songs has been covered by multiple singers, you must correctly guess the one that I'm listening to.)
Step 4: For those who are guessing - looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!

01) When I would play my song, you used to sing along.
I always seem to forget, how fragile are the very strong.

02) Two ravens in the old oak tree, and one for you and one for me.
And bluebells in the late December, I see signs now all the time.

03) I know (I know) you belong to somebody new, but tonight you belong to me.

04) If the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember, it's no wonder how they scream.

05) Green hills and enemies, these things they make us sentimental inside.
Your words are gelignite, or just another sentimental aside.

06) (Shake it up.) I never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground.
And by protecting my heart truly, I got lost in the sounds.

07)~~I was following the, I was following the, I was following the, I was following the...~~

08) Rolled around on the kitchen floor, tied my tongue in pretty bow with yours.
Now we pass and just like glass...

09) I’m a love ‘em and leave ‘em, touch and tease ‘em kinda girl,
I’m the perfect type, for one wild night
(This is my sister's favourite song. If you know it, be ashamed. Be very ashamed.)

10) Even though we said that it was all well and done,
Even though we said that it was time to decide

11) My heart beats, standing on the edge,
But my feet have finally left the ledge

12) Fly a little higher than the rest, Make your journey last
Soar a little longer than the birds, Leave worries in the past

13) I was walking down the street when out the corner of my eye,
I saw a pretty little thing approaching me.

14) The telegraph cables hum, And few can decipher who the message is from
And it deliver it quietly, Cause some don't get much company

15) Get it out for me please, put your hands in the air, if you know what's good for you, you wanna shake it like you just don't care.

16) Blame it on the booze, got you feeling loose,
Blame it on the 'tron, caught me in the zone.
(OKAY THIS ONE IS TTLY MAINSTREAM! I just wna know if people actually know this cause whenever I make reference to it, people give me the WTF? face.)

17) In the jungle, the might jungle, the lion sleeps tonight~
(OKAY FINE, but THIS VERSION IS ZE BOMB! GUESS EVERYONE GUESS THE COVER!)

18) Jump in the shower, grab my towel and put my V. secrets on.
And brush my teeth cause I'm almost ready to roll.

19) Oye Loca! Ven pa’ca! Come here! What!
Muevelo, muevelo sin parar!
Let’s Go! Como!

20) Who will buy my sweet red roses, two bloom for a penny!
Any milk, today mistress?
(This is from a musical.)

Incoherent Conversations When You Shut Off Brain Cells & Such

2009-07-04T23:50:00.005+08:00

OMG, what did the title even mean?

Mom: You always watch Harry Potter right? Who is the guy who acts as him?

Me: Er, Daniel Radcliffe.

Mom: Then how about the director?

Me: Uhhh, ahhh. Christopher Columbus?

-silence-

Mom: That's the guy who found America! You might as well say David Copperfield right. Don't know then anyhow say!

Me: ~embarrassed.

BUT I WENT TO LOOK IT UP AND IT IS CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS! Grr, made me feel like such a complete fool!

Meanwhile, inherited my mom's LG viewty. I was getting sick of my cell and the buttons are freaking infuriating so I stole her previous one. It's 5MP but the camera quality is damn noisy! I think it's cause of the ISO. Even with the setting to ISO 100 it's all grainy and full of noise! GRAWR. Meanwhile, QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM keyboard! :-D

2009-07-03T20:40:00.002+08:00

You know.. school and drama and tests and late nights and stuff.

OMG I AM SLEEP DEPRIVED. And also, addicted to freaking Tap Tap! Have been stealing Vanessa's Touch to challenge various people the past few days. AND HAHAHAHA have yet to encounter anyone who could emerge victorious against me! The only person is Dionne who draws close in terms of score, and ironically both of us don't have an iTouch to practice with.

Shereen is the noobiest of all noobs, and was so desperate for a win she played a Two Player, except alone so she could guarantee herself as a winner. Can I hear someone say, LOSERZX ZOMG. So about halfway through the game Xinyi and I decided we don't want her to win, and Xinyi stepped in the game ( HALFWAY THROUGH MIND YOU ) without the music accompaniment, and I commented that it would be damn hilarious is she still wound up winning.

And guess what.

She did. O:

Have adopted habit of pushing myself to finish up all classwork so I can take naps. So, today during Chem, i FINISHED UP THE QUESTIONS. I DID OKAY, REALLY! And I laid down on my desk to sleep, while pretending to write so I won't get caught or anything. Apparently some girls walking past our class saw and laughed, so the entire area at the side notice and LOL, which subsequently made Ms Yee realise what I was on about and she TOLD ME TO WAKE UP! ZOMG I WAS SO INDIGNANT! I was like~ I DID IT ALREADY! T_T But no one believed me. Ngh things like that ALWAYS happens!

In Sec One I used to sleep alot during Geog, except I haven't mastered the writing while sleeping technique so I wave my pen around in the air as if I'm deep in thought. Until one day Ms Lau came over thinking I had a question and eventually realised I was dead to the world, so yeah~

叫我皇帝

2009-06-29T19:35:00.004+08:00

First day was, well - TYPICAL. Full of stress and non stop mugging and drowsiness. (YAY FREE PERIOD NOW I CAN STUDY MY BIO!) (w00tS! LUNCH TIME I CAN FINALLY START ON MY MATH!) Omgosh, I AM ASHAMED of ourselves.

Dionne was telling me her sentiments about how the British are so posh that they would say "I'm coming! I'm coming!" as "I'm arriving!"

So I related to her about my junior telling me about her sister who heard a China scholar having sex next door in her University Domitory, and that the China people were screaming '叫我皇帝! 叫我皇帝!'

Weiqing: Haha yeah, so maybe for the chinese they will say... 皇上驾到!

We laughed hysterically all the way back to class, and I was still in an intense bout of giggling fits when the math test started. Later on, in the Family Lounge, I retold the joke to Mok, Zoey and Brenda.

Zoey just stoned there, while the three of us went into this stomach clenching laughter for what seemed like, I swear, more than 3 minutes. We would pause and all it had to do was for someone to repeat that four words and we went off again.

OMG.

OMG.

皇上驾到

AND I CAN STILL LAUGH OVER IT NOW.

Orelliolotion

2009-06-27T23:57:00.004+08:00

Whatever it was called, okay?

Honestly, FRANKLY, with no nasty intentions at all, I had my expectations WAY UP THERE, and only the last performance met it. Didn't like the first two. At all. No nuances, timing was off, lack of energy and focus, stage presence was weak. The TIMING oh GOD their timing. You gotta know you don't like it when halfway through the performance your OCD tendencies arise and you obsess over a certain moment where you think you could have done better than that person itself. Seriously there were times when I COULDN'T. FOCUS. My mind just pounded out this chant: SHE SHOULD HAVE PAUSED THERE. SHE SHOULD HAVE PAUSED THERE. IDK, it might be one little thing BUT IT TAKES ONLY A SECOND for the entire piece to fall apart kay! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

Third got gradually better, but wasn't my type. FOURTH WAS THE BEST. I momoed all over the place, (Drama Class term for Heavy Weeping During A Drama Performance as coined by Gloria after my insane breakdown in the theatre during Momo in Sec Two), and almost every line gave me goosebumps. Watching it, I am not only AWED by the way they devised the piece, but also their chemistry, and their individual talent. And if that isn't O: enough, I actually got the full impact of their message. Like, I felt a true understanding of the Cerebral Palsy condition and how it affects the victim and all around her. Yknw, that's when Drama really MEANS something. When we get something out of it.

And OMGOSH, Psalm 23!

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Am gonna start off again! But will not.

Sorry kay, just HAD to. I used to bring around my Liu Xing Hua Yuan and Liu Xing Yu DVDs ALL AROUND THE PLACE. My favourite MV of all,! ZOMGZX. I LOVE BEING IRONIC. Because, dang they are ridiculous and holy mama do I love them.

Somwhere Along the Way it Stops Hurting

2009-06-27T13:13:00.003+08:00

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger; and more cynical.

Somewhere there you learn things, stop believing, stop trusting. You stop expecting, so you don't disappoint easy. You stop hoping, you start to steel yourself. You stop feeling. After awhile, you lose the ability to feel anything anymore.

Such is the lives of, well. Most everyone at this time and age.

I'm not going all apeshit Our Lives Are So Bleak & Dark here. I mean, it's the truth. It's just an objective observation. I won't take a side on whether it is favourable or not, but it just is the way it is.

You know, I feel old. Sixteen might HAVE been the age of youth, the peak of your life where you're just bursting with love and rainbows and glitter-maned unicorns, but Sixteen in 2009 pretty much equivalates to a wizened 60 year old who has seen the world.

In that short span of 16 years I have seen poverty, have travelled most of the world with my internet, broken laws, found God, been hurt, been stressed, bordered on neuroinsanity, found true friendship, taken booze, watched porn, rode on a hot air ballooon, thought every thought possible.

What's left? I'm in the age where I can reminisce about The Good Old Days. A year ago's like ten, I don't know about you, but Sixteen is a long way to have lived, when you're in the Space Age. And oh my god, I can't do my sister's Primary 5 problem sums.

2009-06-26T21:58:00.006+08:00

I know the following will scare the SHIT out of everyone, but I was just looking up Dong Bang Shin Ki in order to excavate the fangirl in me, but sorry I just. don't find them appealing. Rather, I dug up songs I really really loved in Primary School. You know those.. primary school Lianzx songs!? I mean, if you're from SNGS primary you won't get it; but if you were from a neighbourhood school? I BET YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. OMG REMINISCE~ Lian**~>,< style and all.

I Would Love You But Then I Would Have To Kill You

2009-06-26T19:35:00.002+08:00

I lived to see Michael Jackson die. And that's something I can tell my grandchildren. I mean, EVERYONE knows MJ! Our principal propagates his song to the entire song during Assembly, our most vicious (and most feared) insults in Primary school were related to that old guy (YEAHYEAH LATER MICHAEL JACKSON MOLEST YOU AH!)

But still, I have no idea why everyone's making such a big fuss about him dying. I mean, why then do we not mourn the death of the six year old kid across the street who contracted leukemia. And if you're gonna say it's cause MJ can contribute alot more to the music scene, then WELL THAT WAS THE PAST. HELLO, what else DOES he do except shrink back in his mansion fiddling little winkies and surfing child porn online.

If you ask me, he should have died long time ago. Before he got that nose job, and/or apparently caught whatever skin disease he claims he has which bleaches his skin. IDK, okay. King of freaking Pop or not, he's came out with almost all the song worth his life, and he's retreated into a decrepit pile of human bones serving no purpose except to endanger lives of the young.

So, nobody actually cares much about him anymore. In fact, with nothing left on his List of Controversial Things To Do, he pretty much faded into oblivion. We haven't heard about him since. My theory? He's got to use his last resort. If nothing else he does can shock the world, he will go all out, and make it final. Might as well die, The Final Scandal.

Meanwhile, on my ability to inhale food. While Pastamania-ing @ J8 today, Shermi and Xinyi were sharing (as if I weren't there) about my resemblence to a freaking VACUUM CLEANER. According to them, they just LOOOOOVE~ eating out with me, cause I'll just suck up all their leftovers and they can never feel guilty about starving african kids with me around. Right, I'm just your regular Portable Starving African Child right?

Then again, besides being mortifyingly insulted, I still enjoy eating with them people. Always get free food. Which was why I skipped on getting the combos today, I KNEW I would be offered bread, soup, drinks and extra pasta. FOC. Yeahyeah, I'm always there to finish Shermi's carbonara after she has taken two strands off it, and also more than half of Xinyi's fries when we Macs out. I WILL be offended, if I weren't so excited and distracted by the fact that I get to eat extra.

2009-06-25T22:06:00.004+08:00

Ben: Lians remind me of left4dead, they're pale and move in groups.

WQ: Pale and move in groups.. no that's the Cullen family.

_______________________________

I constantly have headaches, else I'm just too tired to function. So therefore I cannot do work. OMGOSH I come up with the best excuses, don't I? Anyways. Does anyone know where to find COLORED PAPER larger than A4 size, and is reasonably priced, as well as opens EARLY in the morning and is situated near the route from Hougang to Ang Mo Kio?

No? Dang, I knew it. Imbeciles, all of you.

The Doog Is Loost In The Foog

2009-06-25T19:59:00.002+08:00

HER ACCENT IS UTTER BULLCRAP. Omgosh, this is the most hilarious thing I've seen in my life, kay?

Loust cufeh is nort to beh fot OVAH.

The doooohhhg is louuuuust in the fohhhhhhhguh.

TOO PRECIOUS, TOOOOO PRECIOUS.

Self Explanatory

2009-06-25T16:38:00.002+08:00

My Sister is a Skank.

On the other hand, Gloria thinks I'm worthy enough a to fill in the position as Most Impactful Friend in her life for her Oral topic! Being, UNJUDGMENTAL, CREATIVE, UNIQUE and COMPASSIONATE. And bless her soul, she's bound to ace that exhalting the goodness that is me in such a truthful fashion.

When I Signed Up for Drama..

2009-06-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

NO ONE TOLD ME I'LL END UP LIKE SOME PSYCHOTIC CACK ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT!

Celine called me to discuss how she cannot capture the right accent for her Drama Indiv lines. I have 4 brothers! They are tall and manly...! So basically there is some random girl infront of you repeating these lines LOUDY, emoting, and in several different accents and languages.

Tell me you wouldn't find that strange.

Meanwhile, MACS EVERYDAY FOR LIKE 2 MEALS A DAY IS NOT THE WAY TO LIVE!

Our God is a GREAT ONE !

2009-06-23T21:18:00.014+08:00

I have.. a sudden, inexplicable craving for OLIVES. Of all things, really.

I don't want to sound preachy, but always know that when you trust wholeheartedly in God, He won't disappoint you. When you feel that He HAS failed you, at some point, it is because we can not yet see the big picture. I know it may sound convenient, but hey. Who said it's an easy job to believe in Him? But believe and you'll be blessed. :-D I SHARE THE WORD!

Today was of LOOOOVE! Came half an hour late for Xinyi ( AGAIN ), but I don't think she expected me to be any earlier, so yeah. We spent our time canoodling.. with our textbooks, and then came Lorraine in all her custard yellow sunshine glory! Followed by Rei-En with her ROCK AND ROLL IS DEAD T-Shirt, and meanwhile I have no idea why I am chronicalising their bodywear, but yeaaaah.

And then the entire day, from 930 all the way to 730, is filled with History, Physics, mocking Xinyi's spelling, petting Lorraine, laughing at Xinyi & Rei-En's snarkiness, writing Pretentious Poems, Candid Camwhoring, bickering with TRICIA GOH, being Zoey's saviour, being artistic, being conned, being called strange child, and a hell lot of random musings. Such as the redundant yet effusive description of food items in all Enid Blyton books.

Today I am a beaker of wisdom. And yeah, I realised one thing: WHAT IS CHEESY IS ALWAYS THE TRU-EST! Screw originality for once. Check this out:

Can't Touch This ! says:
*When one day
*You finally forgive someone totally
*You will know what i mean.
*to forgive someone
*is the best revenge.
*ever.
*because you disallow yourself from being hurt
*it's amazing.
*haha
*I sound like yoda, dont i.
*(-;

Is it me, or is this brand of chocolate trying to be particularly naughty? S-kisser Cummy Balls. Okay, let's see: It's just me. Hooboy.

Whereupon I kachiaoed Tricia Goh by refusing to acknowledge her sketch of the McFlurry thing. I insisted that she merely drew what she THOUGHT she percieved and not what she really saw. And Tricia, being Tricia, got really agitated. It was, well. Hilarious. Also, I am ttly quoting Meg Cabot's All American Girl! I can be so cute this way.

Weiqing: What you're doing is that you're looking at the item, remembering it, and sketching the INTERPRETATION! You are not drawing what you SEE! You are not drawing the real thing! You must DRAW IT LIKE IT IS!

Tricia: WEIQIIIIIINGGGGG! I HATE YOU OKAY!!!! MINE IS SO NICE! I BELIEVE MINE IS REALLY NICE! NO MATTER HOW I LOOK AT IT I THINK IT'S AWESOME KAY! AND LOOK AT MY SHADING! I SHADE SO WELL! MY FINGER CAN SHADE SO WELL! I DRAW SO WELL!!! ( POUTS )

So I sketched some shit for her, and told her THAT was the work of a master.

Tricia: ( bursts out laughing ) OMG IT'S SO UGLY!

Weiqing: HAH! That's because the McFlurry Cup IS ugly, and therefore I AM DRAWING WHAT I SEE!

PWNED.

Tricia: Why is McFlurry spelt with single R?

Weiqing: ..because have no space. Besides, it's called CREATIVITY.

Tricia: HAH. YOU DID NOT DRAW WHAT YOU SEE.

DOUBLE PWNED.

Then I drew the cup, which is so awesome she was speechless. We're so scary childish sometimes I am afraid.

This is one of my Candid Camwhore Shots, and I TRADEMARK it. It is.. not necessarily the most skillfully candid, but it is one of the less UNGLAM ones. Yeah so anyways, have came up with this annoying(ly endearing) pasttime where I will FAKE candid shots! So now Rei-En, Xinyi, Tricia, and my phone's filled with random shots I took of myself.. ALL CANDID. And by candid I mean, CANDID, winkwink, with like apostrophe and all.

And also, win:
I aggree with you, Xinyi can't spell for nuts. The goverment will go bannanas knowing how damanged our standard of English is.

I Love How It Slowly Fades

2009-06-22T23:17:00.002+08:00

About sarcasm.

I truly, honestly, CANNOT detect sarcasm, unless it's screaming right up at my face. Even THAT, I might miss - or be uncertain about. DON'T ASK ME WHY OR I'LL BEAT YOU UP. It just - is. I would like to believe I'm too nice, and therefore is unreceptive of negativity in any form. But then again, I might just have some compartment of my brain missing. It might be possible.

My lovehatespankme relationship with sarcasm does not end there. It seems like my being decides to compensate for the fact that I cannot differentiate sarcasm from sincerity by making me speak - subconsciously, very sarcastically. AND BECAUSE OF THAT, NO ONE EVER BELIEVES ME! And when I'm being nice, they roll their eyes and grunt and go all Bitch You Did Not Just Do That. When all I did was! be! nice!

WQ: Omgosh Celine! I love your pasar malam shoes! It's all glittery and the laces are... hot pink!

Everyone: -silence-

WQ: WHAT!?

Celine: You're so sarcastic.

WQ: But I MEANT IT!

Celine: Riiiight.

The above scenario would occur, and following this would be agitated insistence on my part that I MEANT IT and Celine's utter disbelief. This time, Amanda or someone else urged me to try again. So, I did. To like, rediscover my sincere side.

WQ: ( completely deadpan ) wow celine nice shoes they are so glittery and the laces are pink.

And then I just sound like a retard. Or a retard reading off a script.

WQ: ( GUSHES ) OH. MY. BLOODY. HELL. CELINE ONG!!! YOUR SHOES! I LOVE THEM TO BITS! It's GLITTERY AND THE LACES ARE AWESOMELY HOT! PINK!

Apparently overdramatisation reeks of insincerity.

In conclusion, I must dispense of all embellishments, and be completely nonchalant & off hand when it comes to compliments.

WQ: Oh hey Celine, nice shoes.

Celine: THANKS! (-:

BURN!!! So, what now? I WANT to explain why I like it but I CAN'T!? Honestly you know. Since Sec Two people has been telling me how I stink of sarcasm when I speak, when WHEN DO I EVER, EVER!? I'm such a precious little child and every word I say falls like pearls of perfect peace and purity. I'm so insulted, honest, I can kill. D-:<

2009-06-22T14:36:00.004+08:00

Yknw, I am constantly surprised at how well local students can write. Singapore, the city of Kopi-O and the merlion as a tourist atttraction - that is almost as unromantic as we can get. But then again, as I was saying, some people can let the most inane, unpoetic things sound truly beautiful, which is one of the reasons why I've been holding on to this anthology for years. It's afterall one of the things I think Sporean students can do better than any around the place, weirdly - write. I was rereading it during one of my bouts of procrastination, and I found one I love so much I'm gonna type the entire freaking thing here. It is a fascinating read without experience, with pretty words floating around. It is a captivating read with experience, like everything you have ever thought or felt being strung together. And I know Sharon, for one, will love this.

July

So this is where we end up. This, at the end of everything; at the end of everything, this, a hard square coffee table and cold fluorescence. We will sit here until the end of a moment when I stop regretting and you start, and we toss words, futilely, clumsily, into that same place all the words have gone. They will clatter unheard for useless years, and then they will be quiet and I will not notice, and neither, I hope, will you. If you do not speak this moment will last longer; the sound will not crash into this glass spun possibility. I know you will not speak because you are a romantic and irretrievably pinteresque; you think out silences mean more than words when really they're empty and words are all we used to use. I am not a romantic and I'm sick of this and maybe you should be, too.

Before those days I thought I knew you better than I did because I thought about you so much, and I liked to believe that you thought you knew me better than you, too, and that the petty plays of teenage romance were enshrined in the stolen glances I caught you stealing at me as I stole mine at you. But somewhere between wanting you and having you, you stopped timing my stolen glances to meet yours and I stopped stealing glances at you. You liked our relationship because I gave you so little you could imagine the rest.

Tomorrow you will dissolve into the rain; you will sit fatalistically on your couch and watch the grainy television images cast their loneliness like a searchlight. You will sit in the dusty diffused sunlight with your heart-rending cloudbursts and waterfalls and lakes of sheer clear tears, and I will think, oh, please just abandon Romeo and his desperate night-dances. We have been stupid which is always fine except when you realise it. There is a dense dream where memories are made and we have been there; we bought tacky hats and self-delusion, but I wonder how much of it we had to purchase.

We slept together because it was something to do on rainy Tuesday nights when my parents were out reclaiming their romance. Tumbled about uncertainly on my bed to alleviate the boredom and you could fancy yourself fucking away your desolation because anyway they were the same thing to you, boredom and desolation.

I wonder how it lasted so long - years, schools, and cigarettes; but then you destroyed my sense of times, and every clock I had, too, in a fit of anger, so I counted the days in arguments and ashtrays. Don't be ridiculous, it doesn't mean we lived in a timeless world, it only means that when we are old and leaky and resentful we will not know where our life has trickled, memory by breathless memory. Today it is the end of the end and I have lost count of the arguments, so I measure the minutes in bored impatience. Tomorrow I will calculate my seconds in relief and calibrate it all by me and not you; trade us for me and you and me again.

Once you told me you loved me and I froze, because I'd just about convinced myself that I was happy and you were unconsciously rippling it, that uncertain semi-conviction. I smiled in the end because it was nice to have someone say they love me even if they didn't have a clue what they were talking about, and it made me feel more rational, and almost superior, somehow, because I didn't, don't, love you and I have always known it and you were still living in fourteen.

But today we sit, blank as chess pieces, deliberately sidestepping all that would turn something bland into something ugly. I wish I could say something comforting and romantic like I love you, just for you, but what's the point of lying this late in the game? We will just sit, carefully, wordlessly, until our ashtray moment is over, and we get up and slowly walk away from each other, sadly and tiredly.

- Ong Chengyi (but,)

Goshy, it's amazing.

Not Exactly In The Best of Spirits,

2009-06-22T13:33:00.003+08:00

But I'll hang on.

The Os are looming ahead, something fierce. And, I quote Cyrus: It's Frickin' Me Out. Big time. I need to study. SO!? I KEEP SAYING THAT - BUT I DON'T. Like, RAWR. Eat shit. EMath, Math, History, Chinese, English, Social Studies, Drama, Biology, Chemistry. It's impossible. It seems as if everyone has been starting to gain momentum. And I'm all left behind.

Praaaaay~

Also Known As, WHAT AM I DOING HERE _NOT STUDYING_ LIKE I SHOULD BE WHEN O LEVELS ARE 3 MONTH AWAY AND I HAVE YET TO EVEN BEGIN ALL 9 SYLLABUSES!?

2009-06-21T14:17:00.005+08:00

Or alternatively, I Am So Dead.

Seriously.

DEAD.

Why do they not manufacture S'mores in S'pore? SHIT, I wasn't even trying to be punnilicious, AND MY GRANDMOTHER HAS A LOUD SHRIEKY VOICE, LIKE, ALWAYS. Xinyi and I have come to the conclusion that the reason why Singapore never seems to sell kickass stuff is cause even if they USED TO BE kickass, I mean like IDK, maybe Hanging Your Phone Around Your Neck With Loud Wide Straps COULD HAVE BEEN classified as TOOCOOLFORSCHOOL, it has, due to spammage whoring by Ah Lians and Ah Bengs, started to lose it's status in kickassness.

You know what I mean, right? I mean they just grab every trend and lowclass it. I bet if they introduced Smores locally, there would be ~*KAWAII SMORE*~ little cutesy shops where they would replace the marshmallows with durian and Lians&Bengs will whore themselves outside with Hello Kitty imprinted on their graham crackers taking tilty head pictures while performing analingus on their Smores.

Ultimately, there ARE no cool people in Singapore. There are two subclasses: You are either trendless and Elite School-ish, and mugs sporadically at random places including libraries, fast food chains, hospitals, the airport or fishfarms. Or you are a Lian / Beng, and will hang around Bubble Tea shops sucking face with your laogong/laopo. Either way, trends just don't survive in Spore. Eat shit.

For She's a Jolly Good Fellow

2009-06-21T00:40:00.004+08:00

Yeah so, it's 1am in the freaking Father's Day morning and I need to pass out, however it is as if my fingers have freaking SUCTION PADS that works only on my keyboard. I can be like cyber Spiderman, I don't know. Sorry, at 1am it's just a wee bit tough to come up with semi-interesting sidenotes. All I want to do now is to cleave my head apart while projectile vomiting all over the room.

And I wonder why I'm tired all the time.

Right.

Meanwhile, I hate how I have no POINT in my posts.

OH OH, I installed some Hits Tracker thing to check out how many bored human beings actually bother to come by and pretend as if the musings of my bowel movements are of utmost importance. And I was SHOCKED because Unique Hits alone kicked up to a 40 today, and that's pretty impressive statistics. I think. I mean. SO WHY IS IT THAT NO ONE TAGS! Hit & run, huh!

Honestly I thought only people who tag regularly read. And the rest are people who're hoping they'll be mentioned in posts, or I would imagine Celine with her Notorious Little Green Book hunched over her moniter with a demented GIMME-MAH-MONAYE face, stalking our posts to seek any mention of -CASHFLOW-.

No, seriously, I HAVE to tell you about the Little Green Book. I think she should have it trademarked. Celine used to be the kind of friend whom you could just go up to and demand to have a buck back from, though in no universe did the lending ever occur. And yes, I tried. She just said, oh, and slipped me a two dollars. Tempting as it was, I returned it to her.

( And yes, I do have a conscience. Like how I always feel bad for not giving my sister birthday presents and will pick up something random in the house for her, SIS: But that's already mine. ME: Yeah, it's the GESTURE that counts okay, can you not be so materialistic? You have no sense of sisterly love, bitch please. ) ( Of course, without the Bitch, Please part, I just added that to be Chris Crockeresque. Anyway if I did say it my sister will just go SIS: ORHOR GOD WILL PUNISH YOU. )

Aaaand I have just exceeded myself in terms of digressionism, A PARAGRAPH OF BRACKETS OH JOY TO THE WORLD. What was I saying, ohyes.

But ever since Celine got hold of her so called ingenious idea of recording everysingle cent she spends or lends in this Little Green Book (TM), the golden days of exploiting Celine is OVA. Mmhmm you heard right. As always, she gets broke and racks up debts from her friends faster than you can say bright blue pig in a big fuzzy wig. Not that - that made any sense of sense but, yarh. The only diff is that now, she no longer dispense of cash, and will haunt you like some St. Nicholas version of Samara.

I swear once I was just randomly queuing up in the canteen when I saw this incoming fireball of hair as Celine made a beeline towards me ( and I was so close to getting headbutted ) with that Book clutched in her hand as if it was the bible of her Truth and Life as she yelled out "WEIQING YOU OWE ME TWENTY CENTS!" Honest to goodness, she did a mating dance around the entire canteen bursting to the brim with perspiring hormonal female teenagers to remind me of a freaking 20 cents I owe her.

The weirdest thing of all is that, though she DOES get all her money back promptly now ( PHONE CALLS AT 10 PM IN THE NIGHT TO REMIND ME I OWE HER TWO DOLLARS ), she is still perpetually broke and perennially debtless. She just owes everyone money, somehow. Like, for example.

Weiqing: Celine Ong you owe me money.

Shermi: Celine you owe me too.

Celine: I owe who more ah? Weiqing can you pay Shermi for me first then I return you the whole amount next time?
___________________________________

Weiqing: Celine you owe me money!

Celine: Nah, return you..

( 5 seconds later )

Celine: Weiqing I'm quite broke, can lend me the money I just returned you?
____________________________________

And yeah. Be thou not afeard if a slightly maniacal woman comes barging past you on the streets wielding a diamante studded Little Green Book filled with "SHE OWES ME 5 CENTS SHE DIE I WILL HAUNT HER TONIGHT IN HER DREAMS" and assorted other death threats. Because, we all know Celine, that really all those little 5 cents and 20 cents can amount to a lump sum which can guarantee you a membership in the Millionaire's Alumnae in about five thousand years.

Alternatively if you actually total up all the money you have ever borrowed in the past present and future, Celine, WELCOME TO THE MILLIONAIRE'S ALUMNAE PRESIDENTIALSHIP, TODAY & RIGHT NOW.

SLEEP.

2009-06-20T13:48:00.001+08:00

I'm screwed and shagged and shitty as hell.

I have no. Idea. Why. But I'm just sleepy all the time. It's digusting. I have entirely lost any means of brain function and also, I give up on this post. I NEED REST~

Nonsense We Came Up With In Sec 2,

2009-06-20T13:17:00.003+08:00

WHICH ACTUALLY DOES MAKE SENSE!

Sally sells seashells on the seashore. But why does Sally sell
seashells on the seashore when people can pick up the seashells from the
seashore by themselves? Sally should sell seashells in Antartica. Therefore,
Sally sells seashells in Shhhhhhhhantartica!

- Cathleen & Weiqing

LOL?Z

2009-06-20T00:02:00.002+08:00

Cathleen:
Hey Weeks !

Weiqing:
YP!
(YP
*YP
SHIT
*YP.
OMG
YP
OMG. I HAVE THE INABILITY TO TYPE YO

Cathleen:
We'll take it that you said, "Yes Peep." OKAY !

Weiqing:
OKAY JUST DID, AM SHAGGED OUTTA MY BRAINS.

What scared me was that I tried, like, I REALLY TRIED TO FOCUS ALL MY BRAIN POWER TO THAT YO. BUT IT JUST. COULDN'T. COME. OUT. -TIRED-

Cuz Kids Say The Darndest Things

2009-06-18T20:55:00.003+08:00

Weiqing: EVERYONE, HIGH FIVE! ( high fives a group of 6 year old boys ) Oh I am so deprived of a guy's hand in mine~

Cyrus: You're frickin' me out.
_________________________________________

Annoying Ambrose: I HAVE LIKE ALOT OF WEBSITE TO GO TO! Right now I already have... uh.. ( counts ) TEN! ( triumphant look )

Weiqing: I have more than that.

Ambrose: ..actually, I HAVE FIFTEEN.

__________________________________________

Weiqing: Have you guys ever watched American Pie!

Annoying Ambrose: YES!

Weiqing: .. you HAVE!?

Annoying Ambrose: Of course!
__________________________________________

Weiqing: No, you cannot die yet! You are so young and you haven't done so many things!

XXX: I have done everything except for one thing. To die.

___________________________________________

OR A TEACUP

2009-06-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

I'm a happy dandelion~

2009-06-18T11:04:00.002+08:00

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else

It's for the best I know it is but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it'd be this hard

Should be strong, movin' on but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand!

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Man Weiqing, just quit it will you. )-: I'm sick of hearing your pathetic whinging. GET OVER IT, bitch. Seriously. ALRIGHTIES: things to do today. MUG. Occupy myself by skipping out and meeting friends. Write the Lit Up thingum. WRITE DEDICATIONS POST! Eat some happy marshmallows and read Roald Dahl. (-: It'll be alright after I get through tonight.

2009-06-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Dedications~

2009-06-17T23:27:00.003+08:00

YAH after Sharon's dedication some people are demanding theirs too! Must be due to my extreme popularity or astute sense of wordliness or maybe both. So therefore will be doing one soon, and seeing as how we are all in the loveydoveytouchyfeelywarm&fuzzyfriendship mood, I'll just do one for everyone I love okay? When I'm free, and that should be soon, cause I'm always free.

FREE SPIRIT!

I Love The Sound of Laughter

2009-06-17T23:16:00.003+08:00

I conclude that I love dogs because if they have one representative trait about them, they are incredibly loyal and faithful. They bound around and want hugs and lovin' all the time, and they get all licky and needy, which is really what I love.

I would like to think of everyone I meet as either Catty people or Doggy people. I somehow feel more affection for Doggy type people. They seem so unfettered, unrestrained, and they leap off and cuddle before thinking about it. Cats on the other hand seems to saunter around eyeing and scheming, preening and haughty and evilshits.

In fact, most people I know are Doggy types. The only close friend I have who is categorized as Cat type is Gloria, who DOES saunter around sluttily and groom and preen alot, but I guess she is one of those Garfield type cat who's just as lovable.

Or maybe she just reminds me of Catwoman with all those corset-y stuff she wears, IDK.

2009-06-17T22:47:00.002+08:00

Baby make love to my tagboard won't you? DON'T LEAVE IT STAGNANT.

And I know Becky will disapprove of this but she will be super nice to me these following weeks, JUST WATCH IT. And I will push her over the edge by my Weiqing ways and watch her ALMOST falling off but hanging on desperately. Because she is prim&proper and will go all out to wring me dry, but she is also damn softie and will wanna be nice to WQ but will combust all over herself in the inside.

I'm rambling and did I just refer to myself in third person? Not good at all.

Fizzzzzle

2009-06-17T17:43:00.003+08:00

I AM BLOODY TIRED ALL THE TIME.

Totally. Emotionally drained or lack of sleep or a motherass combination of both shits. EITHER WAY, I hope it'll get better soon cause I don't wanna walk around in a zombie stance, like the Zombie Cheerleader thing Rei-En picked out from the library shelves today SPEAKING OF WHICH~

BITCHY LIBRAIANS, LIBRIANS, HOWEVER HELL YOU SPELL IT WAIT. LIBRARIANS.

Include lots of hand gestures, I-take-my-job-very-seriously-though-i'm-a-wannabe-volunteer expression and very pompous and self righteous speech. GRAAAAAAAWR TIRED AND AM GONNA RETIRE NOW.

KIDS!

2009-06-16T21:15:00.005+08:00

MANDUH & CHANG KAI <3

CYRUS!!!

CHANG KAAAAI! ~

THE BROTHERS/COUSINS!

Sorry, due to overexcessive crying and lack of sleep I have been looking like total fugs and therefore pictures are censored. Working with kids is always an amazing experience, sometimes frightening, when one gets precocious, but overall eye opening. We can learn so much from each other.

CHANG KAI IS REALLY REALLY REALLY CUTE! Amanda and I spent the whole of today obsessing over how hugely adorable he is! When he grows up he'll be a totally hot and sensitive guy that'll go around breaking hearts. Either that or he'll be an awesome bf.

And he said he wants to be my ( and Amanda's ) boyfriend when he's older!!! Haha cute little boy, no? He is FREAKASS cute when he laughs. Handsome as hell! HAHA! Nghhhhhhhh headache and FATIGUEEE help me.

Tweet.

2009-06-16T20:21:00.003+08:00

My God, I'm Weiqing. Emotionally male & detached. Nothing can bring me down cause I'm AN INDEPENDENNNT. As long as I don't give up on myself, nothing can ever, ever bulldoze the Weiqing Spirit! Join the fanclub babes, I'm crazy in love with myself and I know all of you are too.

Yknw, so far the above has been my mantra for the day when my mind starts to wander and I start to sink deeper into something not-so-nice. I can't stand it when people wallow in self-pity, therefore I will not allow myself to become someone I won't like. I've been there, done that, and now I'm out of the rut. Even if it's brainwashing, I'm gonna stick through it.

Weiqing Weiqing Weiqing NOTHING CAN BRING THE SPIRIT DOWN. Nothing.

WIN.

2009-06-16T11:05:00.002+08:00

"I used to be normal I think, but I don't remember it."

MY GOD. My favourite quote, EVER. As heard from Mix Master on Okto.

Under Construction

2009-06-16T09:56:00.003+08:00

I want to be an exclaimation mark!

Of course, it wasn't easy to get through the night. It took me ages, to painfully force myself to sleep. I woke up at random intervals feeling like there were a thousand mites in my stomach and head. Then at 5:18am I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I felt alone, and scared. I crept into my sister's bed and asked whether I could sleep with her. She groggily gave me a few pats on the arm and fell asleep. Then I went to my grandmother, she took me into her arms and hugged me really tight and then I started crying at around 6:30am, when the rain started pouring. I just lay there with her arms around me and cried and cried.

For sixteen years my grandma has loved me unconditionally. She has seen me when I'm sick, when I'm grumpy, when I'm at my most vulnerable. My most hurtful words have been aimed at her, yet she was the one who was there the whole time. Her love never wavered, not once. And it's amazing. Truly, purely.

Then somehow or another I ended up in my parent's room. I told my mum I had a nightmare, and that I'm very afraid of losing my grandma, and she let me sleep next to her. The whole time I couldn't help it but cry, but eventually managed to fall asleep.

I hope it gets better every night.

I Am Weiqing HEAR ME ROAR!

2009-06-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

There was a WQ I once knew who was an individual, she was an individual with no roles attached. She didn't have to try to be herself. She was fiercely independent, androgynous and doesn't give a flying heck what others thought about her. The person who doesn't need to try to fit in, or try to achieve anything. And I miss her.

I will be strong, and I will start to understand everything about life now. God, friends, love, laughter, and compassion. There are just too many things in this world that are worth living for. I want the WQ back. The WQ who was just WQ and nothing else, I could think whatever I want, do whatever I want. I will study because I want to get into a JC. I will love life and have fun because I want to enjoy.

God will bring me through this, I know He will.

Thank you so much, everyone, even you. (: It's been a blast and Weiqing will soon make a comeback, so wait for it. Weiqing of Veggie Patch, of 4 Hope, of St. Nicholas, of Drama Class, and Child of God, and friend of her friends, STAY TUNED me lovelies. :D

It's the start of something new~

If.

2009-06-14T08:37:00.002+08:00

If it happens to everyone,

If I knew what you wanted,

If you knew what I thought.

A DEDICATION! :D

2009-06-13T10:12:00.002+08:00

One of the earliest childhood memories I have would be with Kejun. Yes, yes. She is now a cleavage bearing shisha smoker with colored hair and colored contacts and HAVE NO QUALMS WHATSOEVER about smooching girls and wouldn't surprise me if she gets a belly piercing, but still, the dynamics of our relationship hasn't changed much.

One thing is that yes, we may differ in personality, but our concept of fun is pretty much the same, PLUS we are _BLOOD RELATED_ hah, so therefore pushed together once I was born ( she being a few months older ). I remember when I was still a wee toddler in rompers ( YES ROMPERS! The full body suit kind ), we would hide under the desk and create a makeshift Playhouse with clip on blankets or whatever. And also, make believe mermaids and fairy princesses. In fact, we had so much fun together, my mum had to threaten a struggling and crying me with a cane before I was willing to go home. Once I got to the age of sleepovers, which was like, what - Primary 2 I think, I started to insist on crashing Kejun's house every holiday.

HAHA, really the best games were played over at her place. The Police and Thief integorration, now that I think about it, I prolly build up all my imitating Ah Beng skills with that game. And then making The PVC Newspaper man ( instructions from Art Attack ) which turned out to be a total flop, literally, cause it couldn't get hard. OKAAAY that sounded wrong, but you know what I mean. So we stashed it behind some closet and it turned out to be a private joke through the years, until KJ moved. "Is the PVC man still there?" "Yes, after 5 years. HAHA!" IDK, everything just seems doubly amusing with KJ.

Our FIRST quarrel ever took place at my house ( when I moved into Avenue 7 KJ fell in love with the place so now she crashes my place every hols instead ). It wasn't reaaally a quarrel, actually, just a dispute cause I was using up a ton of tissue paper and she got pissed, being the envirofriendly activist she was. But we couldn't stay silent for more than an hour, so - AND THEN SHE INSISTED ON HAVING THE AC ON! hah, take that, who's the CFC releasing person NOW.

AND THEN SHE PUSHED ME INTO THE SWIMMING POOL! We were having a BBQ and were strolling by the water when I dropped my scrunchie in, so I reached over to grab it and she PUSHED ME. IN. THE. WATER. So I pulled her in, and I got scolded. Okay I won't ever admit this, but it WAS KINDA FUN, alright? Gr. Eventually we exhuasted most of our Make Believe Games ( though relapses at Secondary 1 or 2, HEHE ), and moved on to sharing about teenagery stuff. Yeah, THAT kind of things. Else we'll be concocting some kind of weird recipe ( butter and chocolate cereals ) or messing with my sister ( TOOTHFAIRY! ) and then there was hiding in the storeroom for ages and ages and HAHA I can never list everything out.

The point is, we just get really high around each other ( when we kicked around and the mahjong table fell on us and we laughed for half and hour non stop before we could calm down; still, we cracked up after 5 minutes even mentioning it ). And it takes a whole lotta trust to confide in each other cause, afterall, our mothers SHARE INFORMATION ABOUT US on a regular basis ( they work together ). SO YEAH. Still, I mostly share my deepest secrets with KJ. And if I happen to spill her beans I think she'll murder me and then herself.

MAN all this is making me wanna have another sleepover! I WANT AVENUE 7 BAAACK. And then we can go to Sushi restaurants at the expense of my parents and rent movies and microwave marshmallows. ):

Reasons Not To Grow Old

2009-06-13T09:58:00.003+08:00

WRINKLES
MENOPAUSE
HOTFLASHES
NIGHT SWEATS
IRREGULAR PERIODS
LOSS OF LIBIDO
VAGINAL DRYNESS
HAIR LOSS BUT INCREASE IN FACIAL HAIR
SLEEP DISORDERS
DISORIENTATION, MENTAL CONFUSION
DISTURBING MEMORY LAPSES
WEIGHT GAIN
BODY ORDOR
ITCHY, CRAWLY SKIN
PANIC DISORDER, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY
ALZHEIMERS
OSTEOPOROSIS
SAGGY BOOBS
AGING SPOTS
LOSS OF TEETH
LOOKING AT YOUR HUSBAND MORPH INTO A TYPICAL OLD SPOREAN MAN

My God I haven't even gotten to the bottom of the list and I'm SCARED ALREADY. O:

I Will Have All Of You For Supper

2009-06-12T22:16:00.005+08:00

I LIKE KATY PERRY AND I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT.

YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT? HUH. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, HUH? NO. WHY MUST EVERYONE GO AGAINST ME. I LIKE KATY PERRY AND I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT AND ALSO I LIKE CHEESE.

AND AIN'T NO BODY GONNA MAKE ME STOPPIN'.

Meanwhile, I am SICK OF THE WORLD.

>(

2009-06-12T14:37:00.006+08:00

FEEL MY WRAAAATH!

I skipped out to study, at this place called, er Study Corner, as per recommendation by Kelicia back last year. It's has nice big tables and chairs and ceiling fans and all, plus it USED TO BE repeat USED TO BE pretty peaceful. Most importantly it's AWAY FROM ALL ELECTRONIC DISTRACTIONS and has available foodstalls nearby. So I have been doing heavy mugging there for a couple of days, until this bunch of old fogeys infiltrated this lovely Study Corner.

AND YES, I emphasise, it's called a STUDY CORNER you freaking ancient critters. Not Senior Citizen Hang Out Place, yes FINE, eat your peanuts and drink your beer for all I care, but bitch PLEASE, SHUT YOUR BLOODY YAP UP. My God, I'm so over being politically correct and I hearby state that I officially HATE ALL OLD SINGAPOREAN MEN, and I will eat them up for breakfast if they aren't all so filthy.

It's sad that I have to say this, but when they are being grandparents; handing out angpows during CNY and looking all benevelont and buddha like across the dinner table at Crystal Jade when he spins that circular thing, they are perfectly fine and all. But almost all old Singaporean men live up to their stereotypes: Loud old grumps who talk like they are on perpetual megaphone mode, also having to reiterate their points in increasing volumes. Meanwhile, they pick scabs, smell bad, and shuffle around ranting about the government or randomly picking on youngsters on public transport. Or, they are perverts.

Seriously I don't get old men. A recurring trend is that they love to criticize. It's pretty much a pitiful sight; beer belly, balding, sucking on their teeth, in a thin yellowing singlet with sweat stains around their underarms and a Tiger clutched between their wrinkly hands (with overlong pinky nails, WHY?) yantering on and on about the PM Lee and the 9 o'clock show and Kids Nowadays. Else they'll be on with their tirades in public places, usually victimising some teenager. Have they no lives? Well. Don't see a need to answer that.

This is SO another perfect reason, besides wrinkles and menopause, why I do not want to live past the age of 55. I mean, just to see your grandchildren, you have to COHABIT with an old Singaporean man? NO THANKS, geez. Ohyeah, as I was saying, they were making a hell LOTTA noise, and despite my regularly slamming of calculator and TSKing, their voices merely escalated to a climax as they raved their harangue against The Government, The Young of Today and The Sad Lives They Lead.

WHY can't they defile the Senior Citizen's corner just across the block? WHY must they, of all places, come to a STUDY CORNER, where HELLO, young people who STILL HAVE A LIFE and NEED a place to study will be very glad if you would SHOVE THE BONG OFF and give them some peace and quiet so they will not fail their Os and have to grow up to be old fogeys shuffling around void decks every day. They should know better, seriously. SO WHAT IF YOU'RE OLD, YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME? Being OLD does NOT entitle my respect, you have to earn it, for God's sake. And please, CONSIDERATION, hello? Haven't living in this world for a million and one years TAUGHT you something? Gawsh. I'm SICK with having to put up with ancient men just because 'they are old', 'grassroots', 'seniors' WHATEVER. Bitch you keep quiet or you leave.

'Course, this is civilised Singapore so I DID NOTHING. But I should have, really. Instead, I left. In fact I was so mad I went home and made myself chocolate fondue. With marshmallows. It is, okay now a WAS, awesome and I gained 5 pounds. The End.

Why I Fail Chem ( Pt 2 )

2009-06-11T22:22:00.006+08:00

Also known as, I Think I Know Where My Sister Gets Her Bad Science Genes From.

I have come to a conclusion that, NO. I cannot study at home. Because a) you have no idea how much noise a ten-year-old can make in the afternoon. ( AND THAT'S BEHIND SOUNDPROOF WALLS [ THAT PROVED TO NOT BE AS SOUNDPROOFED AS IT IS ] AND MTV BLASTING IN THE BACKGROUND. ) b) The computer. The television. The books. THE REFRIGERATOR!

On the contrary BEING LOCKED OUTSIDE, away from civilisation, where I am less liable to randomly start krumping embarrassingly in the privacy of my room, flop down onto the bed and fall asleep with the aircon on full blast, or catch sight of my reflection, then spend half an hour infront of the mirror waxing lyrical about my beauty, I CAN ACTUALLY CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK.

So, it shall be this. I will get my lazy ass OUTTA THE HOUSE YO. And actually get some work done. YES.

Meanwhile, very much addicted to Marigold fruit juices. Partial to Apple and Pear & Mixed Berries. It's 100% Juice with no preservatives. Does that mean there aren't any additives, cause that certainly ain't explaining away my tongue's crazy infatuation for it.

iGod my GOD

2009-06-10T22:35:00.002+08:00

On Celine's recommendation for entertainment: iGod.

THIS IS CRAPPIER THAN CHATBOT OR ASKOLIVER. Because I was expecting something serious, not the same retard that pissed me off when I used ChatBot. Seriously why do I even bother!?

Me:
Hi, God

God:
Hello there. What is your name?

Me:
If you are really God, you should already know my name.

God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am God me should already know your name.
I am a computer.. Really.

Me:
Oh.. okay. SO. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE.

God:
Yeah that's right. OK with me too. Wow! It is found in the Bible.

Me:
TELL ME NOW! If it is then why is everyone asking this question. ALSO, ARE THERE REALLY ALIENS!?!?!?

God:
Oh. I thought I told you already. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. No I don't think there are any.

Me:
ALIENS! Are you sure, God!? NO ALIENS? ALIENS. EXTRA TERRESTRIAL..

God:
I believe in UFOs. I am as sure as I can be. Are you serious? I believe in UFOs. I believe in UFOs. What's your sign?

Me:
HAHA GOD USE PICK UP LINE AHHAA.

God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

Me:
O:

God:
Oh.

Me:
Speak Chinese

God:
Yi diar. Ni hao ma?

Me:
Wo hen hao.

God:
Wo glaubst Du?
Me:
aishiteru kawaaaaii!

God:
Ask me another question.

Me:
are you male or female?

God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?

Me:
I am woman, of course. Would you really expect a man to be talking to God instead of Halo 3ing? (:

God:
It goes without saying. Me too. I am a she. I am not so sure if I would like to expect a man to be talking to God instead of Halo 3ing.

Me:
Riiight.

God:
" I am not so sure if I would like to expect a man to be talking to God instead of Halo 3ing."? Riiight?

Me:
No, right. My God now you're confusing ME.

God:
Are you serious? I am glad we agree. Have you told many people that your God now I am confusing you?

Me:
We-ell.

God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me:
No, by 'we' i meant the front part of the word well.

God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Oh you meant the front part of the word well it was.

Me:
Er, yes.

God:
Um.

Me:
You are not God because God is not a retard.

God:
You know what you do, when you assume.

Me:
You tell me what I do.

God:
I get it: you do .

Me:
No, I really don't. you told me I do.

God:
Are you serious? You really do? Why not? Don't put words in my mouth.

Me:
O: MY GOD.

God:
Where did you get your GOD?

Me:
IDK but I know for sure MY God ain't YOU.

God:
What is IDK but you know for sure your God?

Me:
And also, I have no idea why I'm even attempting to correct you.

God:
Would you like to have an idea?

Me:
yes.

God:
Hey.

Me:
YES CMON, give me an idea.

God:
Woe! That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about IDK but you know for sure your God.

Me:
Yes, er. WHAT? OKAY WHATEVER, I'M OUT OF HERE. AND THEY SAID GOD WAS CRYPTIC, TRY IGOD.

God:
Ayuh. Um. No big deal. Yeah okay, Would you like to have it? In what context?

Me:
In simple words, such that you may comprehend: BYE.

God:
See you later. What is it like in there?

Me:
In, what?

God:
That's a good question.

Me:
Wow astounding. GOODBYE. ADIOS. CIAO. SAYONARA.

God:
I'm glad you're impressed. What color are your eyes? Bye for now. What kind of food do you like? Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye? See you later. Thanks for the compliment.

Me:
1) my eyes are WHITE. 2) I like all edible food except for healthy stuff. 3) Goodbye, moron. 4) I DIDNOT COMPLIMENY YOU. 5) DO NOT REPLY.

God:
One what? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Just three? Is this a math question? Would 5 ever REPLY?

COLLARBONES

2009-06-10T21:39:00.005+08:00

I have a strange fascination with collarbones.

Really, they go unnoticed so often, but subconsciously they impact the aesthetics of a body structure and the eyes that percieve the body. An accentuated collarbone can make the entire person unleash INSANE amounts of sexual appeal.

Oh fine, at least to me. I think it's a fetish of some sort, but really, collarbones are teh sex.

Which is why, if we happen to be watching a play, and if Xinyi happens to be wearing something revealing the base of her neck, and if I happen to be around, she has reason to be very - very terrified. And usually she is. Because I. JUST. CANNOT. QUIT. OBSESSING. OVER. THOSE. COLLARBONES. Xinyi has the nicest pair of collarbones out of everyone I know. Really.

But of course, NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION TOWARDS XINYI. At all. I think.

Ice Cream Man: 你们是从圣婴学校的对ma?

Me: 对!你怎么知道!

Ice Cream Man: 我猜一定对的! 猜就猜到!

Melissa: Why you say we're from 圣婴!

Me: But we ARE! IJ what!

Melissa: 圣婴 is Holy Innocents you idiot! I thought you're trying to make a fool out of him so I agreed!

LOL~

Just... because.

2009-06-09T21:07:00.003+08:00

i will now only,
speak in haiku verses cause
i'm so good at it.

and no, i don't care,
if you find it annoying,
because... just because.

my bloody cramps are
MOTHERFREAKING KILLING ME,
freaking vagina.

Magnifique Dounohte

2009-06-07T19:51:00.002+08:00

Watched Les Precieuses Ridicules by Theatre Du Kronope yesterday! It was... pretty different. Stunning effects. And er, psychedelic? I have no idea how to bring it across, but the costumes, lights/music, physicality and voice quality of the entire play has this stupefyingly psychedelic thing about it.

And I have no idea why but after watching two french movie and one french play in a month, I have this sudden notion that I can actually spreak french. I mean hey come on, you just pluck some word out of the dictionary, twist your tongue a little and add in some pretentious sounds here and there and you have french. Or something. The whole tongue twisting / french thing IS AN UNINTENDED PUN. TOTALLY. UNINTENDED. Though no one would believe me.

SOYA~ Sick and hallutional and preoccupied with extraterrestrial lives. Somehow everything I think of is linked to ALIENS ALIENS ALIENS!!!

REBECCA WONG, NO SERIOUSLY>

2009-06-05T23:00:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's more horrifying, the fact that the top half is so typical of Becky ( wise old man unused to technological advances ) that is scares me, or that the bottom of half is so UNLIKE Becky that it... scares me too. The bottomline being, the entire conversation is just ODD and alienlike... it makes me uncomfortable. HAHA!

Hoedown! said:
Okay. thanks for your help then. I feel so odd istant messaging all of a sudden like, you're half way across the nation and then getting messages instantly. fascinating!

Barnstorming said:
Rebecca Wong. STOP BEING WEIRD.

Hoedown! says:
No no. Just think about it. Like the signals are transmitted so quickly. It's like impossible!

Barnstorming says:
It takes about half a second and yes it is indeed very possible, it is happening right now and has been for the past 10 years. -__-

Hoedown! says:
Fine, you don't understand me. *slashes wrists and cries: I'm all alone in the world!* Okay, seriously then, never mind. Good night! Cheerios!

Barnstorming says:
OMG I NEED TO POST THAT UP ON MY BLOG! HAHAHA!

Twitty much?

2009-06-05T21:11:00.003+08:00

I'm not really someone who - er, twits. ( Though Jolyne insists the correct term would be "tweet". ) ( That doesn't make any sense at all. I use my Blogger to Blog, not Bloog. ) For one, I'm not someone who can work well with a word limit. In fact I don't seem to take to ANY kind of limits very well. I have too much to say about a single event, I mean I can't possibly just go "Just had a shower and shampoo went into my eye hurts so much", or "Passed by a funeral and the Amitabha chantsongthing got stuck in my head." ( which so totally DID happen ).

I need to EXPOUND on the event. Dissect and analyze every single movement and embellish it with the weather and various whatnots, before I come to somekind of warped conclusion. For example; I passed by a funeral ( insert additional info here ) and the Amitabha chantsongthing got stuck in my head, I couldn't stop singing it for the whole of recess and Huishan remarked that I sound strikingly like one of her mom's buddhist CD's.

We have just skimmed past the behavioural layer, from here, the observational aspect would shift in: I have on several occasions had buddhist chantsongthings ( sorry for lack of jargon-aship ) running over and over in my mind, such as that time by the shampoo store, where the chantsongthing evolved into one of our Drama pieces ( SIWA ) and then the theoretical: religious hymns and chants also seem to have a kind of effect which... followed by random conclusions, opinions, etc.

No, of course I don't plan out my posts, or there wouldn't be THAT many digresses, but my point is, I don't like squishing all my thoughts into a 150 word box. And who in the world would want to read about the little shitbits of my life anyway? Honestly I can't imagine anyone who would be remotely concerned about how I haven't been shitting for 5 days except my mom who would then get me some Constipation Pills.

My point is, I'm sure as hell the above would not be able to be condensed into the twitter box thing. And nothing less than that can satiate my need for lexical outlet, so yeah. BUT. Under the pressure of twitted out Twit Jolyne, I shall try it. TRY.

PSHAW.

2009-06-02T16:11:00.002+08:00

FACEBOOK UPLOADER IS SO SCREWEDDD.

And I really should be doing Integration now. TEST ON FRIDAY ( ARGHHH ). Yknw, I'm still totally in slacking mode now. PROMISED to revv up starting yesterevening, but unfortunately came down with a 38.3 degree fever, can you imagine. So just returned to slacking around. Also I'm slightly cranky now because a) I FEEL FAT b) my swotty sister brought home her little playmate and I DON'T. LIKE. COMPANY. c) SPORE WEATHER IS MUDDERFREAKING HUMID.

I FEEL ALL HOT AND STICKY. I really don't see the point of taking baths, because I can step out of the showers and immediately start to secrete CRAZY amounts of perspiration. If the excessive loss of water could even let me LOSE SOME WEIGHT I wouldn't complain, but it just makes me have to shower 5 times a day, all the while stomping around the house like the world owes me something.

WHICH IT DOES. We should just build a glass dome over Singapore and aircondition the place. Seriously, it's smaller than the Vatican and I'm sure as hell the Vatican is air-conditioned. Isn't it? Well, it should be.

(:

2009-05-31T17:40:00.003+08:00

I. Am. Eating. Too. Much. Like waaay too much. Woke up at 1 in the afternoon today, and had a whole pizza for lunch. Yes, no kidding. The entire thing. The WHOLE THING YES. My dad actually went, you ate the whole thing? And then he shook his head and went tsktsktsk.

O: What kind of pig am I? A very greedy one. And right after the spread at Gloria's yesterday. AND right before the huge dinner my mum is preparing today. GAH I WILL BECOME ANOREXIC. One. Day. I will. And also to force myself down to 45kg. By erm, three months.

Now I feel freaking STUFFED and I am contemplating bulimia in all seriousness.

Or maybe I can just watch some projectile vomit inducing Miley Cyrus. Seriously I don't know what scares me more, her voice when it goes all LOW and odd or when she honestly believes that putting on a blonde wig can fool the entire nation that you're not you. Even if I don a wig, plaster on a fake mustache and get breast implants, I'm sure as hell anyone would be able to recognize me.

Meanwhile, this weekend is SLACK WEEKEND. Friday to Sunday, I'm determined to ignore all workload and thoroughly SLACK. Man was yesterday invigorating of what. Spent the morning watching TV and ( not doing math ). Then had VEGGIE PATCH GATHERING @ GLORIA'S!!!

FAB ( & FAT FOOD ) AND FUNFUNFUN!
I never want to forget any of the times I spend with the Veggie Patch, so I'll record it right here.

Had Subway with Celine before MRTing down ( Gloria: HAVE YOU DIED AND DROWNED IN AN OCEAN?) to Sembawang station, where Gloria dispatched a series of directions to get to her house. However as most of us know I have Absolutely No Sense Of Direction Whatsoever ( I should copyright that ) and also Have Trouble Following Verbal Instructions, I led Celine from the bus terminal at the back of Sun Plaza to the bus stop front of Sun Plaza.

Weiqing: Hi Gloria!~ We're at Sunrise Plaza now! Where do we go from here!

Gloria: @(!*#!@^)&*(!@^#!(@ WHY ARE YOU THERE!?

So in end we took a cab and ended up there at the same time as Becky. While waiting for Cathleen and Gerry, we danced around and did stripteases. Actually, no, we just decorated cupcakes. Celine was excited because apparently it was "like a real English tea!". So we just spent the time producing diabetes causing cupcakes and... well... being ourselves. Which sort of includes laughing so hard you fall off your posh little real English tea chair. And then the Hoe Down Throw Down, courtesy of Becky and Celine.

When Cathleen and Gerry arrived, we started on WATER GAAAMES! on Gloria's front porch. The first part was just us getting wild and making each other wet... Er, moving on. Gloria wore her teeny bikini but refused to take off her sundress. Talk about playing hard to get. As a punishment we repeatedly yanked open her swimsuit to douse her with water. Of course, this is but an excuse to... nevermind.

After a series of random water games we settled on one we decidedly thought was the most fun. Using an object, we went in rounds to think of creative ways to use it. For example a pot could be erm, a maginifying glass. Something like that. Everyone's armed with water, so you get splashed if it's lousy. It was HILARIOUS to see the way we sheepishly come up with the lamest things, KNOWING we'll get splashed, while everyone simultaneously give you the exasperated look and douse you with such vigour. Celine was especially LOUSY at this, still she insisted she was "not bad what". ( I BROKE MY KNEE SO THE DOCTOR GAVE ME A NEW GIANT KNEECAP. Peeyuh. ) and of course not forgetting Gloria's "ooh, I'm jumping on a lilypad!" PHAIL. Oh and Becky's ultimate gayshits. MUMMY LOOK AT MY GIANT LOLLIPOP! Ooh I'm catching butterflies!!!

We took turns to shower while the rest slugged around on the lawn watching the 5 o clock moon and eating packet after packed of chips and root beer float and messed around with cupcakes. AND THEN DINNER. Rendang and Popiah and BBQ and everything nice! Shereen came a little later, but we, for once, had a good VEGGIE PATCH MEAL where everyone actually sat at the table for more than half an hour. It was AWESOME. Usually there's one or two missing, but now - EVERYONE. So we made speeches about our friendship and reminisced about the past in true VP fashion, and even made a video for the FUTURE US! :D It gives me this warm fuzzy feeling inside to know VP is always with you. (: Hee. And then we messed around and made Videos and watched Youtube and blogs and went for walks and AH~

(:

MY STICKY KEYBOARD SUCKS.

2009-05-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

IN HEAVEN AND EARTH'S NAME HOW DO I COME OFF AS SCARY? HOW.

Before they actually come to know me, people claim that I am DAO. ME. DAO. HOW? And stand-offish or just plain weird and intimidating. Whatever it is, we narrow it down to: SCARY. I DON'T GET IT. I'm such a happy gay shit!!!

Just because I'm full of shit, spew lots of inappropriate nonsense at inappropriate times, can't seem to control myself in public, blow everything out of proportion, obsess over everything, and seem to be preoccupied with sex ( anyway I would like to clarify that THIS IS NO LONGER MY PROBLEM. Even when I mean NO INNUENDO WHATSOEVER nowadays, people naturally assume with their filthy little grubs of a mind that I talked dirty ), that does not eradicate the fact that deep, deep deep deep down, I'm a sweet innocent little child filled with rainbow dreams and butterfly, er, candies. Whatever.

I'm still the child who blows soap bubbles in the bath until my fingers turn pruny and watch Doraemon on Saturday mornings and bring Howie the Hare ( who very recently this afternoon got humped by a mini poodle ) out for walks and believe in the toothfairy ( yeah weirdly, I mean. I tell myself they don't, but somehow there's just this niggling feeling THEY DO. You know, NIGGLE? ) and that eating watermelon seeds will make melons grow in your belly.

Though of course the watermelon one might be slightly due to delusion, yknw, so I can just blame any slight bulge of the tummy to swallowing a watermelon seed, as opposed to many years spent lying on the couch with a megapack of Ruffles.

SHIT. I lost track of my main point again.

Erm erm erm. Yeah I was just relating to Lorraine and Xinyi about my core principle in life. If You Don't Feel It's Wrong, It's Not. Because seriously, only the guilty is - well, guilty. You have only sinned if you KNEW it was wrong but went ahead anyway despite what your conscience says. So if my conscience doesn't really FEEL that what I'm about to do seems WRONG, though in society there's a certain distaste but no real RULE set against it, then just follow your instinct, no yeah?

Bu zhi zhe bu zui. Seriously, unless you have like the conscience of Lord Voldermort or something, quit thinking about how people might view it and JUST DO IT and GAWD I hate Nike for stealing this line. Just Do It is such a general phrase, people say it ALL THE TIME and then they will think OHSHIT I SOUND LIKE A NIKE RIP OFF. Come to think of it, Nike is pretty smart in a propagandaish brainwashy kind of way. MAJOR DIGRESSION.

Yeah. Like how Celine dines at Subway but goes into Macs for a cup of plain water anyway. As long as SHE doesn't feel that it's in any way morally upsetting, go forth and yonder, whateverheck that means.

MY TAGBOARD IS DOWN THERE, DAMMIT.

2009-05-29T09:07:00.005+08:00

It seems that loads of people has this issue with my tagboard being, well, down there. I DON'T CARE. I don't WANT it to be at the side, I will not mar the dynamics and symmetry of this sanctuary just because SOME PEOPLE DON'T REALISE THAT, HELLO ----------------> SCROLL DOWN.

Besides, I only want intelligent people who can think out of the box tagging me. So there. (:

You can liken it to the journey for the holy grail or something. You know, only the strongest survive? Wait, what crap am I talking? OKAY mainpoint, I wanna watch Angels & Demons.

BAIBAI.

We were discussing about how L drivers appear all the time around the curve of the road where we pass, when Tricia told us to watch out cause they're really dangerous. So we were wondering if L drivers were qualified to be arrested for a car accident, since they are after all, L drivers.

Celine: What happens if you get knocked down by an L driver?

Jiayu: You die.

I Call This Wallowing in Self Shittiness

2009-05-26T20:20:00.003+08:00

Soz basically.

Life hasn't been much of a bed of roses, but like always, I'll pull through. Because that's what teenagers do. You wade through a cesspit of shit and pick yourself up if you happen to fall face flat in it. Hell, we're EXPECTED to take the shit and live with it. Right now I'm rambling and I need to pee really badly.

So yeah yeah, hectic week and all, I'm shagged and all I wanna do now is plonk down and DIE. Therefore I WILL NOT, repeating now WILL NOT start to mug for Literature test tomorrow until my lazy ass tells me it's okay to do so. Until then, no go because my lazy ass says sit here and ramble.

Meanwhile, I have no idea WHAT I'm talking about.

It's like aliens are taking over meee. Check on overusage of aliens as a connotation of negativity / excuse for screw ups. WHAT AM I WHEN I HAVE AN OVERDEPENDENCY ON ALIENS. WHEN WILL I EVER GET MARRIED IF I WALK AROUND BLAMING ALIENS ON MY EVERY PITIABLE PLIGHT???

OMG~ If I'm left on the shelf, IT'S THE ALIEN'S FAULT.

The concluding point of this monologue is that I will now resort to slacking. And I do this because THE ALIENS MADE ME DO IT. I don't really see the link either, you're not the only one. But I assure you it's there and unseen by the naked eye. So for Pete's sake get some CLOTHES for your poor eyes.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST RESORTED TO THAT. LOW. JOKE. Again, the aliens. If you did not understand the above, ALIENS. If you have been constipated for the past 72 hours, ALIENS. If you happen to HATE THE SPORE HUMIDITY, IT IS SO SO SO SO SO THE ALIENS I TELL YOU. BY THE BY. THE HUMIDITY. IS. KILLING. ME.

I don't see WHY I have to be NICE to the environment when it is very obviously the shittiest shit load of a motherass bitch to me. It's like ass raping my sweat glands, it's so bad my glands are like, getting wet and orgasming in protest. WHAT A BAD BAD BAD METAPHOR. Disturbing on like, so many levels. I shall requote my ever infamous line: MY FACE CANNOT BREATHE. BECAUSE. YES. I get slightly murderous when my pores ARE CLOGGED UP WITH ATMOSPHERIC DUNG AND ASPHYXIATE MY FACE.

NO, BITCH I WILL NOT SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT WHEN IT'S BLOODY KILLING ME. You better TURN IT DOWN BY FIVE DEGREES OR I'LL BURN THOSE PLASTICS. In your faaace, yo. Even I can feel the waves of insanity and disorder from this entire post. EVEN I CAN. It's the humidity, I tell you. Which of course, stems from THE ALIENS. What doesn't? Everything shitty is because of aliens.

By the way did I just use the term 'shittiest shit of a motherass bitch' up there? It does get catchy, doesn't it.

Such is how we are,

2009-05-23T21:50:00.001+08:00

Last week,

I cheered when I found out I had a free period when my teacher was on MC, then realised I was excited over it because I could use the time to mug.

You know what, FML.

One Synapse Short

2009-05-17T22:20:00.002+08:00

The weekend was spent doing Organic Chemistry, mugging for Biology test / SPA and Social Studies ( DAMN YOU VENICE YOU'RE TOO ~HISTORY~ISH ), squirming about having killer cramps and obsessing how much CELLULITE I have on my thighs. I don't know what they are, exactly, and when or HOW IN THE BLASTED WORLD it appeared there, but gosh it's gross. I would rather it be some form of mutated fungus, ANYTHING BUT CELLULITE.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!? I haven't touched Macs for like, A MONTH!

So yeah. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO STUDY AND IT'S NOT EVEN 1/1000 OF O LEVEL SYLLABUS AND I'M ALREADY FREAKING OUT. I HATE ALL YOU ABNORMAL EDUPROGRAM PEOPLE WITH DIRECT ACCESS TO JCS, ALSO I HATE ALL ATHLETES BECAUSE THEY ARE ~IMPOSSIBLY FAST, AND STRONG~ /end overspoofed Twilight quote. ALL OF YOU ARE ALIENS. ALIENS.

I hate the world.

Tell It Like It Is

2009-05-16T20:09:00.002+08:00

Something tells me I should read through my sister's science paper more often, because she writes the darndest things.

Describe the life cycle of the butterfly.
It is very special.

Describe briefly how you would carry out this experiment?
I would use my brains and my hands to do it again and again.

You are a meteorologist working at a weather station. You have just received a satellite signal that the town would experience hurricane in two days. What would you do to warn the people of your town?
I would tell this bad news to the news stations so they can report it theirselves or let me report.

There was another question, where she labelled the penis as testes. When I told her the testes' the round thing over there, she turned to me and said, "No, that's the balls."

FREAK OUT~

2009-05-15T19:28:00.003+08:00

OH. MY. GAWD. WHY DID I GO CUT MY HAIR.

AND WHY IN ALL OF HEAVEN AND EARTH'S FREAKING NAME DID I GO CUT IT IN SOME LOUSY NEIGHBOURHOOD HAIRDRESSER PLACE WHERE THEY GOT SOAP IN MY EARS, HAIR IN MY EYES AND ALMOST BURNT HALF MY SCALP OFF!? Because I was lazy.

AND DANG the price I paid was HEAVVVAYE. I hate my hair now, it's so incredibly fugs I can cry. And then I start to browse through pictures of my long hair and DAMN I NEED TO CRY. Why in the world was I so insane. WHY DID I CUT MY HAAIR WHY.

This is insane. I'm sending waves of undulated longing like the ancient bull whale. OH THE NOSTALGIA, I WANT MY HAIR BACK. DAMN I TOLD HER TO LAYER, SHE DIDN'T. AND NOW I LOOK FUGS. YOU HEAR ME? F-U-G-S FUGS. RAWR.

I'm gonna wear a wig until it grows out, seriously.

Let's Facebook Mozart Next,

2009-05-14T20:58:00.003+08:00

With my now unlimited, infinite endless inexhuastable boundless sempiternal supply of text messages, I have been firing off crazy amounts of SMSes just for the heck of it. I mean, it just feels good to be able to cheat the phone company of a couple of bucks. So I just sitting there, thinking about God and all, when I felt the urge to talk to Him.

In an insane moment, I picked up my phone and scrolled my contacts down to G. I actually almost attempted to text God. And I'm not even kidding. O:

Amazing. Even if it ain't a guy singing this, I still love it. 2:00 is the sex.

We Constantly Try To Better Ourselves

2009-05-09T22:59:00.007+08:00

Omg like so sexy~

Shermi: I hate people like that! Smart, athletic, good-looking, popular...

Weiqing: Then he must be lacking in something.

Shermi: Like what! He's great at everything!

Weiqing: ... He probably has small balls.

Shermi: ! ... O:

Today was good! Managed to kill through three chapters of Chem without self-destructing. And that's some feat in itself, but has left me thoroughly exhuasted and THIRSTY oh gawd why am I so THIRSTY all the time. I must be pregs.

Or might I be right!?

2009-05-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

Why I Fail Chemistry.